Only Her- ON HOLD

Chapter 19.

Cast: Lorena (Christina Ochoa)

Lorena's POV

"What the...damnit!" I yelled as my toe collided with the foot of my bed.

I slumped down to the floor and grabbed my toe as it throbbed in pain, groaning in aggravation. I took several deep breaths and allowed myself a moment of wallowing until I finally decided to pick myself up when a small piece of fabric caught my eye beneath my bed. I pulled on the exposed material until the faded T-shirt came into view and my heart stalled.

"Wyatt." I thought instantly.

His smiling face popped into my mind instantly and I couldn't help the tears as they filled my eyes. I pulled the shirt up to my nose and inhaled the familiar scent, letting the momentary comfort give me a little peace.

I thought I'd removed everything of his after he'd died, but this one somehow managed to stay behind as if it knew. I had tried everything suggested to help with the grieving process. I listened to every podcast, read books, but nothing had fully worked. Just when I'd think I was okay, something would remind me of him and I'd immediately come to tears and crumble in on myself.

I'd never felt so alone. Every time I saw Dani, all that I was reminded of was the incredible times we'd all had growing up together, with Wyatt always our protector and companion. Our families had always been close, and once Eli took my father as his Beta, we became inseparable. I don't quite know what caused the shift between Wyatt and I from his little sister's best friend to becoming each other's confidante. All I know is once it did, I couldn't go back.

Choosing to tell Dani was the easy part. She was my best friend and she needed to know. What was hard was knowing that she may never forgive me for choosing to make a selfish decision over our friendship. Wyatt was our pack's future Alpha, and of course he was stunning and charming on top of that. He had an ease about him that hid his true feelings about the pressures of his future so perfectly. So naturally every eligible female in the pack would throw themselves at him without hesitation. If Wyatt didn't go for their advances, they'd choose to put their efforts into Dani instead, only to leave her behind the second they got what they wanted or gave up.

I knew all of this and I still chose my own selfish needs over my best friend instead of just telling her how I was feeling. I should have just told her how hard it was for me that I hadn't found my mate yet; how I hadn't slept at night in weeks because I was drowning in the anxious thoughts that I may never find mine. I watched the way the males looked at Dani and they should have. She was truly one of a kind and any wolf should be thanking the very moon herself if he were so lucky to be gifted her as his mate. I still let my own insecurities see that she'd have no problem finding love one day, and that her mate would be someone that was truly an incredible match for her because she had Alpha blood in her veins and because she always seemed to bring out the very best in those she loved.

I knew my own mate was designed to be my perfect match, of course I did. But what if I couldn't find him? What if something happened to him? I'd come of age and nothing happened. No one from our pack was my mate, and we'd traveled with Eli so many times and still, I'd never found him. And at some point, Wyatt was there, and he saw me. He saw my struggles and he saw my sadness that I'd hidden from everyone else. Most of all, I saw his own struggles too. I saw that he was trying to live up to the impossible standard that is being an Alpha. I saw that he wanted to keep his family safe, and feared that he wouldn't be able to do so. I saw his own anxiousness for still being alone this long after his first shift. And somehow we just got each other. It just clicked.

I didn't blame Dani for ending our friendship. I understood the betrayal she felt. She'd have forgiven me instantly for being attracted to him. She couldn't forgive that I didn't tell her. She couldn't get past that I let him in and somehow shut her out in the process. I did the very thing I'd always promised her I would never do to her. I'd chosen her brother.