One Last Time //Lams//University AU//Part 1

Chapter 46

March 18 2018
Thursday

Alex POV
We enter the dorm and everyone is already there. "If I come out last then why am I the one who walks with Alex? Shouldn't someone else walk with him?" Peggy asks confused as she sits down next to Eliza on the floor, I sit down next to John on the couch.

"Yeah, you're right that is more logical." Herc says, John pulls me down so I'm lying on his lap, "You look like you're going to pass out. Go to sleep." he says, I open my mouth to say something then remember I can't so I just face away from him.

They talk for about an hour and I just lie with my eyes half open unable to fall asleep. "And that's why you should never throw oranges at people." Peggy says finishing a story, "I thought it was just common sense not to throw oranges at people." Laf replies and Peggy glares at him.

I feel John run his fingers through my hair, "You wanna go home?" he asks, I nod silently sitting up. "We're gonna head home, Alexander needs to sleep and I need to get work done." John says, "Guess we'll see you tomorrow then." Angie says as he stands up.

He holds out his hand for me, I take it and we walk out of the building and back to the apartment. We enter and walk to our room. "If I tell you to take a nap will you go to sleep or just lie there and stare at the wall?" John asks and I shrug, I honestly don't know at this point.

"You want me to stay here with you?" he asks, I nod hesitantly sitting down on the bed. He lies down and pulls me into his chest, he's warm and I feel safe, I feel it every time he does it but... How long will that feeling last?

He runs his fingers through my hair and I close my eyes trying to push away the thought. I'm exhausted and need to sleep, I know this but I just can't!

What am I supposed to do? I don't want to worry anyone, especially John. Should I just fake it?

~time skip~

After about a half an hour John left me to 'sleep' by myself, he probably went to finish his homework. I just lay on the bed for about three hours staring at the wall. Who knew blank walls could be so inspirational?

Eventually I got board and decided to get up, John was in the kitchen drinking tea. I silently sit down next to him. "How's your throat?" he asks taking a sip of his tea. I try making a noise but nothing happens. It's starting to worry me a little.

"Don't worry, it'll be okay." he says reassuringly. I smile slightly and stare at the counter. "Did you get any sleep at all?" he asks, I decide it's better not to lie so I shake my head no. He sighs getting up.

He pulls me up off the chair and into a hug, "You need to figure out something. Anything. Sleep is really important Alexander." he says quietly. I nod my head and he let's me go, "Wanna watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S?" he asks and I nod.

John POV
I'm starting to get worried about Alexander. There's something wrong. Besides the fact that he can't talk or sleep, he's been... Avoiding me.

He avoids eye contact and he's not as loose around me as he usually is. I have a feeling it has to do with last night. I don't know what I did wrong but whatever it is, I'm gonna figure out a way to fix it.

He's just blankly looking at the TV, he's so tired he hardly has emotion. I wish I could figure out what's keeping him up, maybe I could find a way to get him to sleep.

He glances to his school bag sitting at the door and I know what he wants do. He stands up and I grab his hand and he looks at me confused. "No, sit down. You can do work later." I say, he keeps standing for a second and glances back to his bag but then sits down.

I switch off the TV and squeeze his hand. "You need to sleep." I say softly. He sighs, I pull him into a hug and he rests his head on my shoulder. "C-Can't." he whispers, it's barely audible but I heard it.

I feel him lightly kiss my neck before getting up and grabbing his bag, walking to the office. I sigh slumping back on the couch. He's so stubborn.

March 19 2018
Friday

Alex POV
They decided to switch the person who walks with me from class, I now walk with Angelica who comes out five minutes before I do.

We enter, everyone except Peggy is sitting down, I sit down next to John like normal and they begin to talk. I can feel John's eyes on me but I try to ignore them.

Eventually Peggy enters and they decide to get out a board game to pass the time. John and I decide not to play because it's Monopoly and that game takes forever. We want to go home eventually.

John lies down and pulls me onto him. It reminds me of the night we first kissed and memories start flooding back to me. I can feel tears start to burn my eyes so I lower my head into John's chest.

'Dang it.' 'Dang it.' 'Dang it.' 'Dang it.' "Dang it." I say outloud and everyone stops what they are doing and turns to me. "Did he speak?" Hercules asks half excited half nervous. John lifts my chin and I avoid eye contact with him. I open my mouth to try and make a noise and it works.

I guess I looked surprised at myself because John laughed. "There we go!" he says sitting me up, "Yeah... I guess." I say quietly. I can't tell if I'm crying so I just hope I'm not.

John kisses me and I kiss back but hesitantly, I immediately regret being hesitant because I can feel he knows something is wrong.

He stands up and pulls me up with him, he walks me outside and shuts the door. "What's wrong?" he asks and I begin to regret life. "W-What?" I ask hating myself for stuttering.

He sighs, "You're acting weird. I know you're tired but..." he says and I curse myself, he looks so hurt and I hate that I made him feel this way. I take a step towards him but he takes a step backwards.

"What happened that night. Why did I find you having a panic attack on the balcony?" he asks sternly. I drop my head to the ground. It's silent for a moment.

"You're never gonna leave me like that... Are you?" I ask hesitantly. He looks at me confused, "Alexander, I told you, I'm going to stay with you for as long as the world let's me." he says and I shake my head, "No. You're never going to just get up and leave me... For someone else." I say.

He looks at me shocked but then walks towards me. He lifts my chin and kisses me passionately. "Never." he says, I can feel tears running down my cheeks. I always cry at the wrong times.

He kisses my forehead wiping my tears away. "I love you and only you." he says quietly. "I love you too." I reply.

He let's go of me, "Is that's what's been bothering you?" he asks and I nod silently. "Do you think you'll be able to sleep now that it's off your mind?" he asks, "I-I don't know... It's not like I didn't want to sleep. I've never tried so hard to sleep in my life, it's just not working." I say.

He stays quite for a moment but I can tell he wants to say something. "What?" I ask scared. "I think you should go see someone about this." he says and I open my mouth to say something but he cuts me off.

"Look, I know that you hate doctors and that this is probably the last thing you want to do but, listen to me." he says, I look away but nod. "I know I can't convince you with some lecture about how it's bad for your health because I know you don't care about your health, but I know you care about your studies. If you don't get help you will suffer academically and I know you know this." he says.

I roll my eyes, "Yeah I know." I say quietly. "So, is that a yes? You'll go see a doctor about this?" he asks and I sigh. "Fine. But only because I have to." I say and he smiles. He pulls me into another hug and we walk back inside. We watch the guys play Monopoly and Peggy completely destroys them.

"And that, my fellow friends, is how you play Monopoly." she says proudly. "You're a monster." Lafayette says glaring at her. She smiles and does a happy dance. "We should get going." John says standing up and helping me up too. "You're gonna do everything you can to get Alex to sleep?" Angie asks as I stand up too.

"Yes, and if it doesn't work then we'll get professional help." John says as we walk out the door, "Pray it doesn't come to that." I add and we leave as the group bursts into laughter. "It's going to be okay." John says kissing me. "Let's hope so." I say quietly.