Bitter Sweet and Strange

Chapter 13

Buendavid

This is absurd!

Hindi ko na alam kung ilang beses akong napabuntong-hininga at napakamot sa aking noo.

Because of the confusion I felt yesterday, wala na akong nagawa kundi ang magpakalunod sa alak kagabi. Masyadong late na akong nakapasok sa opisina, tapos ito agad ang bubungad sa akin?

Is she for real?

Inabot kasi kanina sa akin ni Alexa ang Resignation Letter ni Ms. Quirino. Yeah right. She wants to resign as my personal assistant for petesake!

Hindi ko na siya napigilan kahapon nang sapilitang siyang lumabas ng aking kotse. Hindi ko na siya nagawang habulin pa dahil maging ako ay gulong-gulo rin.

Everything was new to me. She is a whole new thing. She let me feel alien emotions beyond my cognitive grasp.

Hindi ko inaasahan ang nangyari kahapon, pero tulad ng aking sinabi, wala naman akong pinagsisisihan. I love that event. Sadyang hindi ko lang talaga alam kung ano ang magiging reaksiyon ko pagkatapos ng tagpong iyon.

I kissed her, and even did more than that. It's not harassment at all, because she liked it too in the first place. I felt it yesterday. She wants me too with parallel intensity. Pero may kung anong bagay ang pumipigil sa kanya. She's pushing me away all the time. And no matter how firm her resistance can be, it'll be futile in front of my determination.

I must get what I want. And I want her.

Akala ko noon wala lang ito. But no matter how I suppress my emotions, it always came rushing out. This is something new, and by instinct, people tend to fear new things.

That's what happened to me. Natakot ako.

Yet, new things, however frightening they are, need understanding. If we can understand its nature, we will then realize that there's nothing to be feared of.

Kung may mabuting naidulot man ang pagpakalunod ko sa alak kagabi, it's the fact that it made me see things clearer now. Sigurado na ako sa aking nararamdaman ngayon.

I like Ms. Quirino.

Not because she's pretty or whatever, but because, she is Ms. Quirino. She's not even fearless and boss-like. Basta! Kahit hindi siya pasok sa aking standards, may kung ano sa kanya na kinahuhumalingan ko nang husto.

Is it because to me, she's so fragile that I want to protect her? Or she's so sad that I'm dying to give her a kind of happiness that she deserves?

I can't be certain.

But there's one thing I'm certain of, she has something that I can not find from others. And that something is driving me crazy..But no matter how much I worship her totality right now, still, it won't change the fact that she's resigning!

Muli kong pinulot ang Resignation Letter at marahas ko itong pinunit. Hindi ko matatanggap ang resignation niya. Alam kong napaka-unprofessional para sa kanya ang nangyari kahapon, pero hindi dapat umabot sa puntong tulad ngayon na magre-resign siya.

I want her to be by my side. I need her presence near me. Am I getting too demanding now? I don't care. I'm the boss, and I have the right to demand.

Kinuha ko ang aking susi at mabilis na lumabas ng opisina.

"Sir Buendavid, I want to remind you that you have an appointment this 9," pag-iimporma sa akin ni Alexa.

"Cancel that."

"For what reason, sir?"

"I want to visit someone. Also, free my schedule the whole day. I just need to spend this day with someone." Napatingin siya sa akin na may pagtataka pero agad din namang napatango.