Lost in Blue

chapter twelve

I walk into my room and fall back on bed.

"I despise Draco" I say out loud to Grace who's sitting at her small desk.

"Why this time?" She says spinning her chair over to face me.

"He is so awful to me. All the time. To think for one minute he would be some what kind to me this year? I mean obviously I don't want his pity but I genuinely thought that he was gonna stop treating me like garbage compared to everyone else" I rant

"Well you know why he does that, it's because he doesn't know how to express any other way towards you" she laughs as if I should know.

"What other way? To be polite to me? He doesn't treat anyone else in our house the way he does to me. It's just me"

"He only treats you like that because he clearly has some sort of feelings for you. He just doesn't know how to express it" she says in a serious tone.

"No he does not. If you have feelings for someone you don't treat them like shit" I roll my eyes at her

"Well this is Draco we're talking about. He doesn't know how to deal with any of his emotions. Obviously he's not gonna be a a complete dick to his friends or he wouldn't have any, but I think he sees you more as a friend and that's why he acts the way he does" she says.

I sit and try to take in the information. There's no way he does.

"How do you know all of this?" I raise my eyebrows at her.

"Well for starters I'm dating his best friend, who knows Draco and knows that he doesn't understand how to care for anyone or deal with his feelings. Hell, Lewis even says that he feels like half the time Draco, doesn't even wanna to talk to him, but he knows that he does, he just has a funny way of showing it. Plus I also have classes with him, I see the way he associates with everyone else"

I usher her to explain more. Earning an eye roll from her,

"To let's say, Pansy, he ignores her half the time she's talking, she can be talking to his face and you can tell he isn't listening to her. With me he's 'nicer' but he never initiates any conversation with me, I'm always the one to start it. But you, he listens. Even if your not talking to him, he still listens. He also goes out of his way to make a conversation with you. Even if it's him being cruel to you, it's his way of communicating" she explains to me.

"Well he has a funny way of showing his emotions, because I want nothing to do with him if he's gonna be a dick to me" I cross my arms.

Grace sighs at me and shakes her head turning back to her books.

I go over our conversation in my head. Could he really have feelings for me? I mean, he treats me like an on going cough. One minute he's all nice and fine and the next he's rude and cold towards me. He won't even try to be my friend, let alone anything more.

I lay back on the bed and make conversation with Grace about nonsense. She usually tries to distract me up until the point I fall asleep because if not, that's when the nightmares happen.

Tonight her blabber on her theory how she is convinced Umbridge is secretly a troll, which I mean. I agree with, doesn't distract me enough.

" Cedric. Please. Wake up"

I feel two hands on my shoulders shaking me awake. I stop thrashing around in my sheets and I see Graces green eyes peering down at me.

"Shh it's okay Stella" she says taking me in her arms. She holds me for a few minutes.

"I'm gonna go get some water" I mumble.

"I can get it for you if you want" she asks.

"It's okay I need to get up and clear my head anyways" I say untangling myself from my sheets and walking down to the common room.

I don't think I could ever thank anyone enough for putting that girl in my life. I've never met someone who is more supportive and kindhearted in my life. Grace has unconditional love towards everyone. She is my soulmate, not in that way of course. But in the way I knew we were meant to meet.

I fill a small cup up with some water from the tap. I sip on the cold water letting it push the nerves down my stomach.

"Couldn't sleep?"

I see a sleepy headed Lewis sitting on the chair across from the table.

"Yeah. Long night." I mumble sitting across from him.

A lot like Grace, Lewis is also someone I feel terribly thankful for being placed into my life. Before we met I never understood why Grace was so hung up on him. Lewis is cute but I thought he came off a bit cocky. "trust me he's in my class and he's really sweet" I remember Grace saying to me in the second year. I never believed her since he was Malfoy's best friend. But I was wrong. He really is one of the nicest guys I know.

"Do you need to talk?" He asks.

"Just has a bad nightmare again, that's all. What are you doing up" I switch it on him.

"Draco.. he got up and left an hour ago, said he had to clear his mind. He hasn't came back and I'm sorta worried about him" he tells me

I laugh a little, " you and grace are to similar" I simile at him. "I'll wait him. You go back to bed"

"Are you sure?" He asks

"Yeah. I don't mind. I can't sleep anyways"

He nods standing up, " Goodnight Stella"

I wait for over 30 minutes. My eyes start to droop but the opening of the door makes me wake up.

"Stella?What're you doing?" I see Draco say as he walks in.

"I was waiting for you. Where did you go?"

"I just needed to go for a walk to tire myself out... why were you waiting for me?" He says sitting in the chair across from me.

"I woke up and came down and saw Lewis waiting for you. I told him I'd stay up since I couldn't fall back asleep and for him to go to bed" I say quietly.

"Oh. Are you okay?" He asks, sounding genuine.

"Yeah I'm fine" I look into my lap. We sit in silence for a few minutes.

"I found this earlier " he says leaning over and pulling a book in his hands. " I read it already, you might like it though"

He hands a leather book to me. I take the soft leather in my hands and open the page. The smell of parchment fills my nose.

"It's a fiction book, by some muggle" he nods.

"I'll give it a read, thank you" I smile.

"Yeah, no worries"

I let out a loud yawn. I hear his deep chuckle beside me.

"Get some rest, yeah? I know Grace will murder me if she knew I kept you up" he laughs.

"Yes she probably would" I stand up and grab the book and walk to the stairs, "Goodnight Draco"

"Goodnight Stella"