Lost in Blue

chapter twenty six

"Shit shit shit" I curse to myself.

I speed walk down the hall knowing I'm late to my last period, Potions. I got caught up in the library and don't even hear the warning bell go off.

I know Slugghorn isn't going to care but I'm never late.

I turn down another hallway, I usually don't take this hall but I know it's quicker.

I turn the corner and am confused to see Draco walk into a room. There isn't usually a room there, right? I pick up my pace and recognize the door.

The room of Requirements.

I look around and push the door open, before it closes behind me.

Now I'm really gonna be late.

The room is filled with old desks and chairs and junk. I hide behind a pile of desks as Draco walks over to a large sheet sitting over something.

He pulls the sheet off and reveals a closet. I've see the exact same one before. I look closely and recognize it from Borgins and Burkes, from when we were looking through the window.

I step back when I see Draco quickly look around the room to make sure no one was in here. I lean back over and peak my head and see Draco open the dusty cabinet and place an loud singing bird in it. What is he doing?

I hear him mumble a few words. He opens the closet again and the bird is gone. He closes it again and waits a few seconds, he once again opens the door. I see the bird back in the closet, this time it's not singing. I squint my eyes more and see the bird in a ball. Dead.

I'm about to turn around and walk out when I hear a soft sob.

I look from behind the like of desks and see Draco with his back to me, facing the cabinet. His shoulders are shaking and I hear the soft cries come from him.

I move slightly, not realizing the stack of books behind me. I knock them over, "shit" I mumble.

"Who's there?" Draco yells out.

I turn around and book it out of the room I turn the corner.

"Stella. What are you doing out of class?"

I stop on my footsteps and turn to face Draco.

"I could as you the same thing" I cross arms, referring to him being in the room

"What.. what are you talking about?" He nervously says.

"I saw you in that room, with that cabinet. The same one from Borgins and Burkes. What were you doing Draco" I question.

"Doesn't matter, what did you see" he dodges.

"I saw you put a live bird in it and take a dead one out. What were you doing? How did that bird disappear and then reappear alive?" I interject.

"It doesn't matter, just don't go in there, okay? And don't say anything" he orders.

"Why not? I think Dumbledore would love to know what is so fascinating about that cabinet" I challenge.

Draco grabs my arm and turns me around the corner.

"Do not say a word Stella" he snarls. I've never seen him so angry before. His face is cold, the coldest it's ever been.

I pull my arm back, "You got it" I spit and turn back around from him. I stomp down the hall and decide to skip class all together. I can hear Draco behind me but I push myself to be faster then him, I turn down the hall and realize I'm in a dead end

"Stella don't you run away from me" Draco shouts behind me.

"Leave me alone" I cry at him. " I won't tell anyone about your stupid little cabinet that clearly you can't trust me about"

"I can tell you about this Stella. I want to but I can't, I can't put you in any danger" he barks at me.

"Draco I would rather be put in some sort of danger then be shut out by the person I care about. I thought that we finally, finally okay. That we finally were able to push out differences aside. When you invited me to stay at your house I had the best time. I felt welcomed into your home. I felt like you and I were finally going to officially commit into a relationship" I choked, my voice breaking. " I thought we.. we could be together"

Draco face softens and his eyes look sad. " I'm sorry Stella. I just don't want you to be dragged into the mess that I've been put in. I can't let you get hurt. I wouldn't live with myself" he tells me.

" I don't need to know Draco, I mean obviously I want too. But if you are so scared of me getting hurt then I won't question anything. I just don't want us to argue anymore" I sigh in complete defeat.

It's true. I don't care anymore about if I know what's going on or not. As much as I want to know, I realize he isn't going to tell me. I just don't want to use my energy, fighting with him anymore. I'm so tired of it.

"I don't want to either and I don't want to push you away. I just want you to promise me that you aren't going to put yourself in any situation with me. I want to be friends, but we can't be anything more right now" he explains.

"So.. we cant be together?" I say, my heart shattering. I feel the tears start to fall out my eyes and on to my cheeks.

"Stella, I want to be with you. I do" he judges me, grabbing my hands into his. " I want to more then anything, but just not now"

I don't know what to say but I see his eyes watering, I believe him.

"Okay.." I say sadly.

"When this is all over, when I figure things out. I want to make all this up to you. We can go away if you want, take a trip wherever you want to go" he promises.

I nod, taking my hands out is his. I wipe my wet cheeks.

"I'm.. I'm gonna go get ready for dinner" I excuse myself and walk past him.

I let the tears fall out and walk across the castle. I make sure to wipe my face before I walk into the great hall.

I sit beside Pansy and Millicent.

"Hey girl, what's wrong?" Millicent pipes up, causing Pansy and Blaise to stare at me.

"Oh nothing, I just don't feel well" I say, playing with the food on my plate.

I don't see Grace anywhere.

"Why is Grace at the Gryffindor table" Lewis snarls.

They officially broke up after he lashed out at her for being drunk the other night. I told him not to but he did and Grace did not have it. 

I turn my head and see her sitting with Seamus, Ginny and Dean, laughing with them while eating dinner.

"She can sit where she wants" Pansy defends Grace.

I smile at her, silently thanking her because I wasn't in the mood to argue with anyone tonight.