Lost in Blue

chapter twenty one

I've spent the last five days at the Malfoy Manor. Lucious isn't been around much during the day, which I'm sort of thankful for. I can tell the both Draco and Narcissa feel timid when he's around, which causes the whole room to have tension.

I've gotten close with Narcissa over the last few days. I find that she's really easy to talk to. She also goes out of her way to talk to me and to get to know me.

Ive noticed that she has a very gentle and caring attitude. She also has a sensitive and protective side.
I can see a lot of her traits in Draco the more I get to know her.

Draco and I have spent our days hanging out, reading, playing quidditch outside or going to small cafés. I'm glad we've been spending time with each other.

I know he's closed off and doesn't express himself a lot, which can be frustrating at times. He doesn't tell me how he feels and I can't determine it either. I don't tell him this because I know he's trying, but it's hard for me to form a relationship with him when I feel I'm the only one opening up. I don't know what we are or how he feels. We haven't fought or argued or anything, but he can go from being sweet and gentle to being cold and closed off within minutes.

Today was really bad. He asked me to stay the night with him last night and I agreed. We were completely fine but then this morning he got up and barley said a word to me.

When I asked him what he was doing and where he was off too after he basically jumped out of bed and started getting ready for the day, he just shrugged me off and said he'd "see me later"and then left.

"What's on your mind dear?" Narcissa questions, snapping me out of my thoughts.

Draco left with Lucious this morning, leaving me and Narcissa alone at the house together. I could tell she wasn't sure what to do with me for the day so I offered to teach her how to bake strawberry strudels, a recipe my nana taught me when I was young.

"Oh, nothing" I shake my head, rolling out the dough.

I hear her let out a sad sigh beside me,

"I love Draco, with my whole heart. But I know he struggles with communication. He can be very closed off, he's a lot like his father in that way. Turns the cold shoulder when he doesn't know what to say or do. Just be patient with him, he is a sweet and kind hearted boy." she comforts.

"I just don't want to push him to far, but I also don't know how else to get to know him if he won't tell me anything about him" I admit to her as she cuts the rolled out dough into squares.

"Draco has been through a lot. It breaks my heart, but I can tell he's a sad and broken boy" she explains, her voice cracking a bit, " he just needs time to teach himself to trust and open up to you. He is very guarded and doesn't let people in. I'm his mother and I feel like he doesn't even let me in"

I see a tear slip down her cheek, " I don't tell him this, but I feel guilty sometimes for him being sad. I feel like I messed up as a mother"

"You're a wonderful mother Narcissa. I can see the way he loves and admires you every time he looks at you. You are that positive relationship he has in his life and he clings to it" I assure her.

She gives me a soft smile, dabbing her tears away.

"I think we should get these into to oven now" she claps.

After an hour the smell of fresh Strawberry Strudels fill the kitchen. We plate them and bring them into the dining room.

"Wow Stella, these are amazing!" Narcissus compliments as she takes a bite of the strudel.