Until We Meet Again (Sirius x OFC)

Part 2 - Chapter 41: Family

I knew it was stubborn to just leave, but the conversation... or rather argument... had been fruitless. We would not have found a consensus; we needed time to think and now that Sirius knew I was pregnant, maybe he would be able to consider things from another perspective, preferably one closer to mine.

I was outside for half of the day and eventually found myself in front of my muggle grandparents' house. They did not live there anymore, they had died years ago, but a new family had moved in. I remembered the summer I had brought Sirius here, disguised as a dog. It had been our first summer together, or at least half of a summer, and I remembered it vividly. We came a very long way from the kids we had been back then. Now we would even have a child of our own.

I was worried again. This was hardly the right time to start a family, but on the other hand we weren't getting younger and the war was coming. Who knew if we'd ever have the chance later on? I felt blessed at the same time, that it was me who got to be Sirius's wife and the mother of his child. We had made it, despite all the doubts. I wish we had the luxury to just be happy and not have to worry about the evils in our world.

Yes, I had been hard on Sirius earlier, but he had needed to hear it. Of course I would never leave him, I felt bad for even implying it. There was no way on Earth that I could live without him and I was pretty confident that he felt the same way.

But he did need to start acting like a responsible adult if he wanted to be a father and we had to keep our family safe in mutual effort. I was sure he could do that, but only if he admitted and honestly realized that he had to do better. Maybe I did too, maybe I had to listen in on his needs more often. It surely wasn't just his fault, I knew that. I had to take part of the blame myself as well.

With a sigh, I left the house behind and walked back home. Or rather... to a home that soon would be just a place of bad memories again with a few specks of good ones.

* * *

When I came back, I lingered in the hallway. There were voices coming from the kitchen.

„She is pregnant, you can't be hard on her," someone said, I was sure Molly. „It may well be the hormones that fuel her anger and mothers are protective of her families, Sirius, I know that very well as you can imagine."

„Not my mother, though. But that means you knew?"

„That she is pregnant? Yes, I knew."

„Oh great that everyone knew except for me," he said grumpily.

„No one knew, Sirius. I was the one who suspected that she was before she even knew herself."

„If I had known I would have never let her come with us."

„Then you'd be dead now."

„We don't know that."

Molly sighed. „I think you should be very grateful for her. She deals with a lot more than you can even imagine. Finding out she's pregnant, all her friends in a dangerous fight against the most vile people out there, almost losing her husband... That's a lot to deal with."

„I know. That's why I want to be there for her," Sirius said. „I will do better. I know that... just... sometimes I act before I think."

„Yes, you do," Molly said. „But don't be too hard on yourself either. These are hard times."

I liked what I heard but decided I did not want to face them right now so I just went upstairs. Sirius must have heard me on the stairs though, because I had barely entered our bedroom when he came in as well, Nyx on his tail who jumped on the bed and curled up to sleep.

„I thought I'd heard you," he said tentatively.

I didn't reply.

„I know I'm one to talk but you really should not just leave when no ones knows where you're going these days."

„I know, that was stupid."

„You had us really worried. Remus almost had everyone look for you until I told him to leave you alone. I knew you needed time."

„I'm sorry."

„I know you're not," he said with a small smile. „You left me to stew in my own juices and I think that was a good choice. If we had continued to argue we wouldn't have got very far."

„No, we're both kind of stubborn," I agreed with a smile of my own.

Sirius walked over to where I stood and silently asked for permission to touch me. I simply hugged him and he wrapped his arms around me carefully, pulling me close. It was good to feel him.

„I'm so sorry," he mumbled against my ear, his voice quivering.

„Me too, I really am."

„I love you more than anything, Ally. I know I haven't made it easy for you to love me back."

I was crying now, just slow tears running down my cheeks. „I will always love you, Sirius. It's not hard at all, just sometimes very painful."

„I know." He sighed deeply. „I will be working on that, I promise."

We stood there for a long time, just holding each other. I took in my husband, focused on his breathing, the fact that he was alive and with me. His body on mine felt like home, his familiar scent, his beard tickling my skin... I would not trade it for the world.

„Are you still angry with me?" he asked then.

„I guess I wasn't really angry," I said. „Just really hurt and scared and that is not solely your fault."

Sirius nodded. „Yes, I felt like that too. I know I could not lose you, Ally, I could not stand that. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I really was reckless, you were right. We are a family now and I'm so happy about that. I know I won't risk losing this."

I smiled in the crook of his neck. „I understand that you went through a lot that we haven't really discussed. Maybe we should talk about our feelings more often, even if it's hard."

„You're right." Sirius pulled me even closer. „Azkaban and... the time here in this house. It really took a toll on me. I'm glad we're leaving to be honest. Especially now that you're pregnant. God, I still can't believe it."

„Me too," I mumbled and let him go so I could look at him. „Do you know where we could go?"

Sirius nodded. „Well, as it seems, there is a house we could move into. I think it belonged to some muggles who died a while ago and they didn't have any heirs. So it was easy to get, it's in a small town, very subtle and should be safe with enough protection spells. Also, it's big enough for multiple kids rooms, so Harry would have one for himself as well even with the baby now."

„That sounds really good," I mumbled and let myself fall against his chest again, pulling him close.

Sirius winced. „I'm still a bit sore," he said.

I chuckled. „Yea, let's finish up packing and go to bed so we can have a look at that house tomorrow. I really don't feel like staying a night longer than we have to and possibly let your mom insult our unborn baby."

„That could happen, yes, I doubt her grandchildren would make an exception when they come from traitors like us."

„Maybe we should hang a sign over her portrait before we leave that says: ‚Annoying old hag'."

He kissed the top of my head and chuckled. „I definitely married the right woman."