Insecurity

Chapter 20

Ella's POV:

We left the hospital the next day. Without the nurses help, we were tired. One baby startedcrying during the night making the other one wake up. Then the other one starts crying.

I was in the hospital for about two weeks because of my c-section. I still ached, but I could walk.
"Hey sweetie." My mom said as she entered my room.
"Hey mom. What's up?" I asked.
"I know you just gave birth, but we still haven't got much baby shopping in. We've got the essentials, but we need more. Plus I would like to have some bonding time with my daughter." She blurted.
"Okay. Yeah. I was totally thinking the same thing." I replied.

I slipped on a tank top and some shorts with a pair a flip flops. I didn't feel like trying. I flushed out all the drama in my life. Today is going to be a good day.

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I went through the isles looking at all the baby clothes. They were so adorable. I probably ended up buying half the clothing in the store.

We were at the mall. Today was a mom and daughter day. I grabbed a lot of onesies that had cute things on them. Like Daddy's princess or Pewee! Who stinks?

I also got bibs, binkies, bottles. It was time worth spent. We checked out and started walking around the mall.

I looked to my right to see a mother yanking her child's arm to the bathroom.
I then hear, "Tristan! You are not supposed to go to the bathroom alone! Now come on!"

What if that's me. What if my children turn out to be maniacs? What if they vandalize things? What if I lose them? My mom then spoke up.
"Look honey." My mom pointed, smiling.

I looked to see a mother playing with her baby. The mother looked to peaceful and happy.
"That's going to be you one day." She said.

That is going to be me one day. I'm going to be the best mother in the word and no one is going to stop me!

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I walked into the nursery to see my babies. Lucas was holding Avril in his arms.
"Hey," I whispered.
"Hey," he whispered back.

I gave Lucas a soft kiss on the lips. I then look at Logan. He looked up at the ceiling, soft gurgles coming from his mouth.
"You're beautiful today." Lucas whispered.
"Thank you. I didn't even try." I replied.
"I know. I like you this way." He said.

He set Avril down and put his hands around my waist. He gave me a kiss.
"I love you." He implied.
"I know. I love you too." I returned his kiss with another.

We made our way our bed. We lay there just thinking about life. I look up at Lucas to see him asleep. I quietly get up and tiptoe to the nursery.

I look at Avril who is cooing in her sleep. I don't see any of Lucas in her at all. I see Dylan in her eyes, and her smile. Other than that she looks like me.

When I look at her, it makes me feel horrible for cheating on Lucas. I just felt like we were fading away so I started having sex with Dylan.

When I got pregnant, I knew he loved me. That's all that mattered. I also knew he would be an amazing father.

I then went to sleep myself. I was tired as hell. Who knew raising two children could be so hard. At least they're adorable in every single way.