30 Days With You (RitKen Fanfiction)

19

WHAT should I do?

Hindi alam ni Dani kung ano ang mararamdaman. She has mixed emotions about her pregnancy. She was happy, of course, but at the same time sad. Because she knew she wouldn't let the father know about it. Hinding-hindi niya iyon sasabihin dito. Makakaya niyang buhayin ang anak niya nang mag-isa lang. Hindi niya kailangan ang tulong nito.

She would strive harder for them. Hindi na lang siya nag-iisa. At the end of the day, there's someone who will need her to be stronger. Mas dapat niyang pangalagaan ang sarili niya ngayon. May it be physically or emotionally.

That was the reason why she started to do vlogging. 'Optimistic Dani' was her channel. She started it to divert her attention to other things. Para hindi niya naiisip ang mga taong may kinalaman sa anak niya. But then she kept her pregnancy private. Tanging pamilya at malalapit na kaibigan lang niya ang may alam.

She wanted to tell Yuka but she's scared that Yuka might spill it out to her brother. Hindi niya gugustuhing malaman nito ang tungkol doon. Kaya ingat na ingat siya sa tuwing nakakausap niya ito.

"Ate Dani!" Bungad ni Yuka sa FaceTime. Sobrang tamis ng ngiting iginawad nito sa kanya. "I missed you!"

"How are you?" Tanong niya rito. "I missed you too."

"Okay lang, Ate. Ikaw po? Parang pumayat ka? Nag-start ka na ba mag-chemo?" Puno ng pag-aalala ang tono ng boses nito.

Umiling siya. "Not yet."

Chemotherapy wasn't good for her baby, especially that she's only on her first trimester. Pinaliwanag sa kanya ni Dr. Jaimie na hindi iyon makakabuti sa anak niya. But her life is also at risk.

With chemotherapy, she could survive. But her baby, on the first trimester, might die. She wouldn't want that to happen. Kaya nga mas pinili niyang palipasin muna ang dalawang buwan bago simulan ang chemo kahit na buhay niya ang nakataya. Her baby is all the she has now. Kailangan niyang maging matatag at matapang para sa kanilang dalawa.

"Bakit?" Curiosity laid in her voice. "E, kailan pa, Ate? Are you okay? Is it okay?"

She smiled at Yuka. "I am more than okay. Don't worry about me anymore. Malaki naman ang chance na gumaling ako. That I can assure you."

But it's a lie. Mahirap ang pinagdadaanan niya ngayon. Pregnancy only worsen her situation. Kaya nga mabilis na bumagsak ang katawan niya. Ngunit ginagawa niya ang lahat para sa anak. She's been conscious with her food intakes. Mas dumami ang iniinom niyang vitamins. It's all for her baby.

For the past few days, she's been very sensitive with smell. Iyong pabango ni Daniel na gustung-gusto niya ay iba na ang naging dating sa kanya. She doesn't like it anymore.

She never had morning sickness which was unexpected. Pero ganoon daw talaga minsan. Hindi naman lahat ng buntis ay pare-pareho ng nararamdaman.

She has weird food cravings, like dried mangoes dipped in Nutella. Everyone find it awful but she likes and enjoy it. Umiyak pa nga siya noong nakaraan dahil walang nabili si Daniel na dried mangoes. Ubos na raw ang stock sa pinakamalapit na Pinoy store sa kanila. Ginalugad tuloy ng kapatid niya ang lahat ng grocery store para lang sa dried mangoes.

She can't control her emotion unlike before. Mabilis siyang maiyak at laging mainit ang ulo. Maybe it was because of her hormones. Ganoon siguro talaga kapag buntis. Mahirap talagang intindihin.

Napasimangot siya sa gitna ng pag-uusap nila ni Yuka nang maamoy niya ang pabango ni Daniel. Agad na nilingon niya ang kapatid na kalalabas lamang ng kuwarto nito.