Judgment - Spencer Reid/Criminal Minds x Reader

Sixteen

*TW: mention of drug addiction*

(Y/N POV)

I wake up to a splitting headache and a sharp pain in my shoulder. I lift my arm to rub my head and everything that happened floods back to me. Fuck, I was shot. Spence... I look around trying to spot him but he's not there. The only person I see is, "Morgan?"

"Hey," he says quietly, "welcome back."

"How long have I been out?" I ask nervously.

"5 days... Reid normally only leaves for about 30 minutes everyday to feed your hamsters, but Sanchez convinced him to go home to take a shower and get some new books and clothes."

"Oh." I say before we fall back into an awkward silence.

"Thank you... for saving me..." he finally speaks up. Huh...

"It's... it's no problem. I don't hate you Derek, even after all the shit you've pulled."

"I'm uh glad." So much awkwardness.

"So... I'm back in Virgina?" I change the subject.

"Yeah, they transferred you once they felt you were stable enough to move."

"Gabi moved too?"

"Yeah, yesterday." More silence.

"Why are you here Derek?" He looks down and takes a step towards me. Uh oh.

"I'm sorry. For how I've treated you. You're a damn good profiler Y/N, I'm sorry for belittling that." Wow... I did not expect that.

"Thank you Derek. I know you don't understand, but just. I'm still me."

"That's what Reid keeps saying. You're right, I don't understand. I'm probably never going to. But I know I've kept secrets from the team, still am. It's not fair to you for me to keep judging you for it."

"Thank you... can we be friends again? I want my big brother back," I say and he smiles.

"Yeah, can we just not talk about the whole BDSM stuff unless it comes up in a case?" I laugh slightly before wincing in pain.

"Derek, I went years not talking about it, I didn't even want to talk about it in the first place but it was kinda shoved into the light. If you make up with Spence, I will never mention it again."

"Deal," he says before we fall back into a silence, but a comfortable one.

"Hey Derek?" he looks up at me, "what changed your mind about me? You seemed pretty dead set against me a few days ago."

"I was, being honest. I was an asshole to you, but you still took two bullets for me. You nearly died, to save me. Every day you didn't wake up, I felt worse and worse. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I was wrong. A psychopath wouldn't take two bullets for me. And days passed and the more I feared you were gonna die before I could say how sorry I am."

Wow. Just- wow. I never expected this from Derek, Emily and maybe JJ yes, but not Derek. He was the most vocal against me. And yet, he's apologizing. I couldn't have lived with myself if I let Derek get killed. He was a jerk but the years of bar hopping, late-night vents, training, him letting me cry on his shoulder when cases were rough overpowered the week of torment, belittling, and cold shoulders.

Right as I'm about to respond Spence opens the door. He doesn't notice I'm awake and turns to talk to Derek. "How is she? Did anything change?"

"Hey pretty boy," I speak up. He whips around to look at me.