Beat | A Jenlisa Fan Fiction

Epilogue

The gravel crunched beneath my feet as I walked silently through the path towards her grave. Even after all this time, my chest still ached knowing that this would be the only way left for me to be near her. I climbed on the familiar hill and soon after, I was standing in front of her tombstone. Lalisa Bruschweiler. March 27, 1997–December 4, 2020. Passion and heart go hand in hand and her passion was as limitless as the strength and the size of her heart.

I placed the bouquet of pink roses on the foot of the stone and set my backpack down near the trunk of the large tree that was right behind her grave. I knelt in front of the tombstone and traced her name with my fingers like I always did whenever I visited her, as if trying to touch her again. I sat down with my back against the tree.

"Hi, Lili. I miss you. I'm sorry it's been so long since I last visited. My schedule has been so packed these last few months because of finals and of course the doctor's appointments, therapy and rehab." I took a deep breath and looked up at the sky.

"Speaking of rehab, I've started dancing again like I promised."

In the letter she left me, she told me she wished I wouldn't give up on my passion and that she believed in me. She believed that I could do anything I could set my mind to. When I read it, I made her a promise that no matter what, I wouldn't give up. Sometimes when I feel deflated during rehab, I would bring out her letter to remind myself of how much faith she had in me.

"The steps are not as complex as our usual routines but having it as a form of rehab gives me hope that maybe I could someday be able to dance like I used to," I spoke, imagining her here with me as I played with the rings on my fingers. "The doctor said it was possible, though it would take a lot more time."

Tears started to pool in my eyes as I remembered the days when we used to practice together. It seemed so far away now but the memories of those days still made me smile.

I kept my emotions at bay and went on, "But I've got good news. I finally graduated. Got my diploma and everything. The duo even took a leave from their jobs to attend the ceremony with my parents." I took out the diploma from my bag and proudly held it up in front of her grave with a watery smile.

Congrats, Nini!

I can almost hear her voice congratulating me, but I knew it was something I could only dream about.

"By the way," I spoke and removed the rings from my fingers, putting them together over my denim-clad lap. "They told me to tell you they're sorry they couldn't come with me this time because of their schedules, but they promised to come by with me again soon."

I recalled the days the four of us spent together and how Jisoo and Chaeyoung were with Lisa. It was some of the best days I've ever had. The four of us together felt so right and it was as if we had known each other all our lives by how in tune we were to one another.

"It's tough without you, I'm not gonna lie."

'Tough' was the understatement of the year, maybe even the century. I traced the gems over the sun ring and remembered Lisa's radiant smile. I missed seeing it—seeing her.

"Some days I still feel like I can't get out of bed," I told her and tightly gripped the symbol of our relationship in my hands. Pausing to calm myself, I took a deep, shaky breath. "B-but I'm lucky everyone's been so supportive. Even my dad's been so understanding and I can't tell you how much he's changed these couple of months."

It was a great feeling to know that I was more important to him than his prejudices. I just wish Lisa were here to revel in my father's support with me. She would've been so happy. It was one of the other things she wrote in the letter. She said she hoped I would someday be able to repair my relationship with my parents because she knew how much I loved them.