The Fighter

Chapter 33: Lakeside Fears and Sweatshirt Truces

"So what are we doing, Soph?" Mark's voice was trembling, the moonlight carved shadows on his face and under his eyes. 

I rubbed my cold nose. "We're going around the lake to the other side, and we're going to cleanse ourselves of everything sucky."

I heard Xavier snort at my right. I refused to pay any attention. His hair was still wet from the shower, so he had his hood cinched around his face to keep himself warm.

"This is very exciting!" Laura was half-whsipering to my left. I glanced at her and noticed she was invigorated by the whole prospect of it. Somehow, even late at night in the middle of the woods, she looked like a model.

Dylan edged up behind me. I could tell because I heard his footsteps crunching the leaves, and believe it or not, his way of breathing was very notable.

"Guys, shouldn't we be worried about like bears and stuff?" Josh was calling from slightly farther away.

"Oh please." I said, despite the wave of fear inside of me cresting. Listen, we're from New York City and we know nothing about bears or the woods. "Okay, here, this is the place." I stopped everyone at the pebble-covered beach on the other side of the lake. We could just barely see the neon sign of the camp office.

"Okay, now what?" Mark said, his breath condensing and rising into the sky.

I smiled devilishly. "We scream our fears into the lake." I had noticed the way that just speaking what Xavier had feared to say, released him from the grips of it in his mind. He was able to see and feel how horrible it all was, instead of blame himself for it. 

"Sophia, Sophia, Sophia, that is not very considerate of the other campers," Josh said, his beard gaining more body now that the shadows and darkness filled in all the sparse parts. He was really starting to look like an older man.

I shuddered, hoping the reverence that somehow balled up inside my throat for him would shake away like an etch-a-sketch. "There is like one other person camping here, and I mean who cares."

"Split Ends!" Laura screamed, her voice taking on an animalistic quality I've never heard before. 

I turned to her with my eyebrows raised in approval. 

"What?" She made a thick lipped smile, before stepping forward, and raising her hands to her mouth. "Matte Lipstick!" 

Laura is one of the best friends a girl could have. She is always supportive, always ready to jump on board with any of my weird plans, and never afraid to trust me. I was warmed with love for her and she was emboldened by her fearless trust in me. 

"Bears!" Josh screamed. "Especially Black Bears!" He added and his voice cracked. Leave it to Josh to still have puberty-voice in college. 

It made us all laugh. 

"The SAT!" Mark yelled. "And Bigfoot!" 

We laughed some more for a bit and it quieted down as the three of us that were left pondered our own fears. I wanted to yell 'Xavier Dying' which was the real one, but obviously that's not the nicest thing to yell.

"Go on Sophie, let's hear it," Xavier said bitterly, as if he knew exactly what I was going to confess. I look back on it now and I realize that he was trying to emphasize why an activity like that was not accessible for everyone. Because of how shitty and inequitable life could be, some of us would have intense fears and others of us would have the kind that everyone wants to have. 

Before I could work out my own fear, Dylan stepped forward. "Addiction!" He screamed into the water. It looked as if it had empowered him, and he grabbed a medium-sized rock from the ground, holding it above his head with two hands. "Not being good enough! Not fitting in!" Then he tossed the thing as desperately as he could into the water causing an audible plop.