Inevitable Turns

42.If you really love S'1,you let them go

Joshua's P.O.V

My mind finally a bit free from it's torture as I stare out into the sea,the water slashing against the rocks in a jet as they recede back in.The entire place silent yet buzzing with life.

I hear the door click shut as I sigh.I didn't want to go have another row with her coz the first row itself killed me.I hear her footsteps near and stop.Without even turning back I know she hesistant.

"I not in the mood to talk Iz,"I say feeling her eyes on me.

"Well I don't care if you're not in the mood."Surprise,surprise..no wait I'm completely not.Why would 'Bells' care about me, she wasn't Iz.

"What do you want to talk about?How much fun I had in bed with Leilani or was it Vicky?How pleasurable they were to take away my worries or how much better your boyfriend pleased you?"I stop her hand midway before it can make contact with my face. "You surprised me the last time but don't think for a second I'll let you violate me for some jerk who wants to use you,"I stop her other hand as well,holding them both in mine.

"Don't you dare talk about him like that Josh,"she seethes while I chuckle with dark humor.

"Why?Why can't I if you're too blind to see it.You know what I find the most humorous of this all?"I let go of her hands as she rubs her wrist,hate filled in her eyes but mine is anger. "That you couldn't stay faithful to me even after I gave you my everything,"she laughs hysterically at what I say.

"Please Josh.You can try lying to someone else and not me.I not so stupid to not believe what my eyes see,"she says.

"Yes Leilani did kiss me Iz and I never said she didn't.She was about to fall of the couch, saving her we both fell and she took me by surprise.I pushed her away coz I could never do that to you.I could never have another woman's lips on mine.I even washed my lips after the entire thing but I guess that wasn't the case with you,"she stays there stuck trying to grasp what I just told her. "I was going to tell you it that very day after you came back but that didn't happen coz I have a wonderful girlfriend who disappeared only to return the next morning with a guy and in his freaking clothes.You betrayed me Iz and I still forgived you for everything",I yell as my fist clench and unclench to release my anger.

"You think I'm going to buy such an excuse Josh?I heard you'll both talk about how you've not had so much fun in such a long time,"she shouts pissing me off more.

"Do you really think so low of me Iz.You think I'd hook up with someone for fun when we both have our first time just weeks before.Did that day not mean anything to you?I don't even know why I'm asking you that when I already know the answer,"I rub my hand down my face in an effort to compose myself.

"Did it really even mean anything to you Josh coz I don't think it did,"she screams even after we are so close.

"You want to know what that call was about?It was about me playing a game of monopoly at her place coz she offered and I had nothing better to do with my life.The rounds I think you can already fix in the pieces in that smart little head of yours, and for Vicky whatever shit he's fed you don't worry I'll have taken care of that damn mouth of his,"I say meaning everyword.

"So you want to blame Dwayne for all this with your Vicky-toria?"she asks as my mind ticks off one of the notches with her saying his name like her was the most important person in her life with all the sugar and sweetness while he was the perverted devil. "Don't tell me you have another excuse lined up for your wild Monday night with her,"she snickers.

"What the hell are you talking about?How many time have a to tell you he is messed with your head Iz.Vicky came by for a Spanish project last Wenesday and what's with Monday night?"I yell.How much shit can a person drill into her head?The guy was real smart to use her vulnerability to his advantage. Was he connected with Zach to make sure they messed her completely?

"Wow,we're doing this,alright.When I payed my visit to get my stuff I met your sweet friend with beneifit or is it girlfriend?"she says sarcastically.

"You met her?"I ask surprised.That could only mean one thing....

"Your quite surprised aren't you,ready to admit you had a good time with her coz she even mentioned to me how you wanted to make her deserve you,the things you do to satisfy her and even offered for me to have sex with some friend of hers.Was your shower too loud that day or were your ears deaf after all her moans?" What the actual hell? That damn viper.The nerve to even make up such stuff.I knew Vic was crazy but this was lunatic and borderline mental,claiming that a had sex with her.

"What do you mean by shower?"I ask.She couldn't be hinting at what I think,could she?

"Was the rest of the day a blur coz she blew your mind of with her body?"Iz seethes,angry and disgust filling each of her words.But it hurt worse that she could believe something someone could make up over her trust for me.That concluded that she had none.I had nothing more to lose in my life now.

"For the last God-damn time I didn't have sex with anyone else in my life but you,"I yell clearly aware that everyone else can hear us. "You want to know what happened after you can your little toy left?I passed out after you entered the elevator with him and luckily Mace had come for a visit.I left the hospital late afternoon and directly went for work.Later I met that cursed viper.I asked her if you came when she was there but she told me you didn't but that didn't really make sense coz Aiden too hadn't seen you arrive and your stuff was gone.I never expected her to do such a thing but then again I never expected you to believe someone else in our realationship.How could you do it Iz?How can you stand her like there wasn't anything between us after all the time we spent together?How can you not want to fight for everyting we had?"I ask her my eyes getting glossy but I hold it in as she doesn't answer.I guess she really only cares for him and can never fix us back again.

"Honestly I'm done trying with you.I've forgiven everything you've done,I've tried giving you a chance to fight for us but it looks like you've already made your decision," I look at her as I rip of my necklace.There wasn't a point in trying anymore when she didn't want me.All promises and everything we held were nothing to her while they meant the world to me.Her eyes meet with mine many emotion but I'm just tired with everything going on around me.

"After he is done with you and breaks you, you can still come back to me coz that is love Iz.I love you and not him.How can you not see it?,"the tears fall of knowing this is it for us.

"I'd rather die,persish and go to jail killing him just to keep you safe.I told your dad I'd let go of you if that was what you wanted even if it crushed me and I guess now is the time you know that was a promise and I never break any promise I've made,"tears flow from her eyes and as much as I want to stop them I know she doesn't want me to the person to.I said I'd protect her from getting hurt and I guess I'm the one hurting her and if I have to kill myself for her, I'd do it. Opening her hand I put the necklace in it knowing she hasn't even realized it.

"I love you and if it makes you happy I'm ready to let you go.Send my blessings to him.Hope you'll get married and you get everything you've ever wanted,"I fist her hand with the necklace as I look at her for the last time I ever will.My eyes scanning the beauty I love.

"It's yours Josh,"she cries as she holds the necklace in front of her face.The representation of her love for me and all my promises given back rightfully to only her.

"I only ever had them because of you.They mean nothing with you Iz.Keep them,"I walk away as she hold my arm stopping me.Each tears dropping down her eyes crushing me but I know this is for the best of both of us.

"It's yours.You'll find love,"she cries and I know she struggled saying the last part that somehow makes me want to smile.

"I did and it was the best thing ever.You can only love once and mine was you.I'm glad I shared it with you Iz.I can never love anyone else,"I brings her head towards me,my lips brushing her forehead for the last time ever as tears stain both of our cheeks.

"I love you my Miss Klutz,"I whisper walking away telling myself it's for the best even though I was dead forever now.Life was never going to be same without her but at least she'd be happy with him and that's all the matter for me.Her happiness even if it wasn't me who could give it to her.I'd always protect her in the shadow;forgotten but still breathing and the only purpose was her.