You Need Me

You Look Like Shit

A week. A whole week since I decided that it was best that me and Trent should go our separate ways. I haven't spoken to him since but he has been texting me and ringing me non-stop. I understand why he keeps trying to speak to me though, the fact I didn't exactly give him the most detailed explanation as to why I dropped him and the truth is I was scared. I am scared.

Scared of losing another boy that I love just like I did with Adam. I still love Trent but there is no way that I am ready to open my heart to someone I know I will just lose just as quickly. Me and Jordan are back to our usual closeness but I can tell that he feels partly responsible for how things ended for me and Trent. "Natalie!" Kyle slams his hand down on the table and I lift my head up. "Are you listening?" I squint up at my best friend and he is staring down at me not looking impressed.

"Yeah, you were going on about different sketches for YouTube and Instagram." I yawn and stretch my arms above my head slowly.

"I was, ten minutes ago. Honestly, what's going on with you, Nat? Because no offence, you look like shit." Kyle takes a seat opposite me and leans forwards awaiting my explanation.

He doesn't yet know about what's happened between me and Trent but now he is gonna find out. "Me and Trent are no more." I fold my arms and stare blankly at the table feeling nothing but numbness.

"What the fuck? Why?"

"I couldn't do it, it's too soon."

"But I thought that you loved him."

"I do, but to be honest I just ain't ready for another relationship not yet anyway, plus Jordan..."

"Oh so that is why, let me guess. That brother of yours didn't approve?" I look up and Kyle is looking directly at me with his bright eyes and his arms are folded across his chest.

"Well, he didn't exactly like the idea but it didn't influence the decision I made to..."

"Shut up, Nat, that's complete and utter bullshit and you know it. You always do what Jordan wants you to, always, if Jordan thinks this so do you."

"That's not true." I try to defend myself but deep down I already know that what Kyle is saying has a huge element of truth to it.

"You say that, yet here we are. You dumped Trent because your brother didn't approve and don't try to tell me different. I understand that you have and are suffering from one of the biggest heart breaks that any person could possibly go through at your age, but life is short, Nat. You can't risk throwing things away in your life, and believe me when I say this, boys like Trent don't come round often and when someone as kind and caring as that lad does come across your path and you fall in love. You don't toss them away, you hold them close and take your chance with them."

"But..."

"No, Natalie, there are no buts no anything. There is just Trent and you have to make it just him because, like I said, boys like him don't come round often and if you don't grab him soon someone else will."

* * *

I go into Jordan's kitchen where he stands over a pan of boiling water and pasta. "You okay, Nat?" He questions and stirs the Bolognese sauce with a wooden spoon.

"Yeah, fine, I will never ever get used to you cooking. You have always hated it, you never cooked when I were little." I shake my head and jump up to sit on top of one of the marble counters.

"Nat, you look like shit."

"Wow!" My mouth opens wide but deep down I know that it's the truth.

"It's the truth, what's up with you? I am your big brother, Natalie, I know when there is something up with yous." He folds his arms across his chest and tilts his head at me knowingly.

I huff and shake my head. "There is nothing wrong me."

"Natalie." He raises his eyebrows and quickly checks the food that is bubbling away.

"Fine, funnily enough you ain't the only one who has said that I look like shit. Truth is I feel like shit too. I haven't been sleeping properly, I can't." I curl my toes and rub one of my eyes.

Jordan scratches his forehead and rakes his fingers through his hair letting out a heavy breath. I frown at him as he shakes his head, he appears to be in deep thought about something. After a couple of minutes he speaks up. "It's about Trent, isn't it?" His blue eyes stare straight into mine.

My throat goes dry as I am faced with the truth to my shitty mood. "Yes." I croak my voice now raspy as I admit that my brother is right.

"Fuck sake." He whispers and turns his back on me focusing back on cooking the dinner.

"Things between me and Trent are over, I ended it last week."

Jordan turns back around now looking pretty angry. "That's the thing, things between you and Trent shouldn't be over and it's my fault that they are."

"No..."

"Yes it is. If I hadn't have reacted like I did then you two would be still together, but no I had to act like a prat and now you are unhappy."

"I ain't unhappy." I try to argue but Jordan quickly shuts me down.

"Bullshit, Natalie, you have bags under your eyes, you are pale as fuck, and you are missing the usual joyful glint in them eyes of yours. I know when you are unhappy and I know that it is because of what my reaction was to when you and Trent were together. The thing is, I was so blinded by the overprotective brother act that I didn't realise then the way you looked at him, with love and happiness. I can tell that, that boy makes you happy, Nat, and the sooner you realise that he is what you need the better."

Silence rings out between us and realisation hits me.

Trent is who I need, no one else just Trent.

^

Hey guys,

I know this chapter was probs well boring but hopefully this will be one of the most boring.

See you guys for next weeks update,

Daisy xxx

P.S- sorry that it is shorter than usual and that it's rlly late I have had a busy weekend again xx