broken love |s.reid|

chapter thirty-four

TW: drug use

Spencer's POV:

Abby and I stood in our bedroom, fighting once again.

"I never even loved you! All you ever did was sneak around with other girls from Seaver to Coryne! I trusted you Spencer! After all that, you lied." Abby screamed at me through her tears. I sat on the bed in front of her as she went off on me.

"Abby?" I spoke up, quieting her.

"What?" she snapped.

"I loved you." I cupped her face as I could tell she was moving on.

"It doesn't matter Spencer. I'm so done with you." Abby grabbed her purse, storming out of the house. As she walked out, I made my way over to the bay window, watching her pull away from the house. In that moment my heart shattered. I grabbed my phone, and called the only person that could make this better.

"Morgan?" I asked through my tears.

"Yes pretty boy?"

"She's gone. It's over." I began to bawl.

"I know you love her, but it's over, Reid, it doesn't matter, put the phone away it's never easy to walk away, let her go it'll be alright" I could hear his voice, so assertive yet calm.

"It hurts." More tears ran down my face.

"It's going to hurt for a bit. You'll find another and you'll be just fine." he assured me.

"But she was my person." Everything about Abby ran through my head as I cried harder.

"It'll be alright," Morgan repeated, as I hung up before throwing my phone across the room.

At this point, I felt worse than I did when Maeve died. It was all my fault this time. I had no way of fixing this. I ran down the stairs to the guest bathroom where I knew I had my last bottle of dilaudid.

"Shut up, shut up!" I could hear Abby screaming at me in my head.

I pulled my belt off my waist, tightening it around my arm as far as possible. I pulled out the bottle and needle, ejecting some out of the bottle. I poked my vain located in my left forearm, emptying the syringe. Immediately, I fell to the ground, falling into a delusion.

When I woke up, I glanced down at my watch, an hour had passed. I looked in the mirror, looking sicker than a dog. I threw the bottle of dilaudid at the bathroom floor in rage, watching it shatter as I began to cry again. I knew I couldn't be alone, so I stumbled into the mud room, grabbing my keys and driving to Emily's house.

"Who is it?" I could hear Emily yell from inside. Somehow, I managed to make it to her house without wrecking my car, or passing out at the wheel.

"It's Spencer." I mumbled.

"Hey- Spencer, what's wrong?" At the sound of her concerning words, I fell into her arms, bawling.

"I've got you, you're safe." Emily whispered as she pretty much dragged me on to her couch. I sat down on the couch, with my face still buried in her shoulder, the tears wouldn't stop. I couldn't control it. She was gone, and I never could change that.

"She's gone for good this time Emily. I messed up."

"Reid? No, no no." Emily grabbed my arm, clearly seeing the injection wounds.

"Spencer this is serious." she continued.

"It was my fault." I whimpered.

"That doesn't mean you go and punish yourself!" she raised her voice, remaining calm.

"When I take it, I can see her. We were getting married. It didn't help that I called Morgan, he told me to get over it." I wiped the tears off my face.

"I'm calling Garcia." Emily pulled her phone from her pocket.

"No! Please!" I pleaded, but she continued.

"Garcia? Yes, it's me. I need you to get Abby over to here right now, I don't care where she is or what she is doing. Yes, it's an emergency. Bye." Emily conversed with her over the phone.

"Emily, Abby won't come." I realized.

"Spencer, I don't care." Emily pulled me in to a hug until her phone rang again and she placed it on speaker.

"You're on speaker Garcia." Emily reminded her.

"It's Abby, her phone went dead. No signal. And there has just been a crash reported five minutes from your house. Her same vehicle." Garcia explained.

"Meet us there." Emily hung up the phone as she grabbed her keys, sliding on her shoes also. I followed her to the parking garage, before we drove over to the scene.

"Woah, police only." a local officer approached us as we jumped out of the car.

"FBI, the victim is an agent." We both flashed our badges, ducking under the fresh police tape. As we approached the vehicle, Abby's body was being pulled out of her car. I stood there in disbelief.

I couldn't believe my eyes. It was all my fault. She was gone. She never loved me. Standing there, JJ came up from behind me, crying her eyes out as she pulled me in for a hug.

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a/n: sorry this is short! i'm writing the next chap rn! but can we just acknowledge how i skipped chapt 31 on accident lol