One-shots! Hetalia x Reader!

Talk Dirty to Me (2p! America x Reader)

Warning to the readers! You'll be all portraying as a somewhat pervy character along with Allen. So Reader-chan! Be yourself! If your innocent. Save your dear eyes for dirty jokes! If can make them dirty as possible.
Anyways credits to my friend for this joke she told me and my friends two weeks ago! She has Wattpad but we are not in the same fandom except for PJO. Anyways enjoy!

-Pumpkin

You were friends with the most perverted of the perverted out there.
You were friends with Allen Jones and Francois Bonnefoy.
Everyday you'd be talking about something dirty which people would never get, but later on get it.
You were the only girl who'd dare and dirtily whisper something in a guy's ear which was amusing for you because of their flushed red embarrassed faces.
But of course you're a virgin.

"Hey (Y/n)!" You smirked back and saw your friends walking towards you. School just ended and you guys planned to prank on the school's student body president, Arthur Kirkland.

"What's up my punks?" You greeted. Your eyes widened when you looked at Francois. You hid behind Allen and pointed at him. He was wearing something more formal and looked neater than usual.

"Who are you and what have you done with Francois?" You peered over Allen's shoulder as Allen chuckled and Francois glaring at you annoyingly.

"Lucky bastard got himself his date with Oliver." You started to squeal and fangirl while he blushes.

"Holy shit are you serious?"

"O-Oui..." He lights up a cigarette.

"Oh my god I am so happy for you Francy!" You hugged him and later straightened him up to get him ready for his date.

"I-It's just a date."

"With your cupcake maniac crush." Allen pointed out.

"Shut up."

"So meaning you wouldn't join our 'sex session' later in the janitor's closet?" You asked Francy.

"Obviously."

"Anyways I gotta go. I promised Ollie I'd be at the park after school."

"Awww! You've both got nicknames for yourselves." You smiled as he began to walk away.

"See ya." As soon as he was out of sight you squealed.

"Ah! Women and their fangirling seriously!" Allen covered his ears.

"You know that there are fanboys too." You smiled at him.

"Anyways prank?"

"Our 'sex session'?"

"Game."

~Time Skip to the Janitor's Closet~

The reason for this prank? You guys wanted to learn that if Arthur was a pervert in the inside and why in the janitor's closet? It was near the meeting room.

"Are you ready?" He held up a mop and placed it aside.

"Three...."

"Two..."

"One.." You both heard the door of the meeting room open.

"We have. To do this quickly before anyone finds out okay?" You said.

"Say tomato if you want it faster and say cheese if harder then." Allen answered.

You both can here the Brit outside gulping as he leaned his ear on the door.

"I-It's so big..." The Brit blushed red as he can't believe at what he was hearing.

"Now hurry!" You both made orgasms as Arthur blushed in embarrassment.

"Tomato! Tomato! Cheese!" You yelled at the same time holding in your laughter.

"Oh god!"

"Let me taste your mayonnaise doll." You covered your mouth to prevent yourself from laughing at his joke.

You let out a moan as Allen circled his pointer and thumb together and stuck his tongue in and out in the circle. I gasped as I held my mouth to prevent myself from laughing again.

"Let me hear them doll." You wiped your tears from the laughter away and moaned loudly.

"What the bloody hell is this?!" You can hear the Brit whisper.

"B-Babe I think we have to stop making a sandwich... Our mayonnaise is all over the place." Last straw. The Brit ran out of the school going home red as a cherry on top of an ice cream sundae.

"Is he gone?" You asked.

"Yep."

...
...
...
...
...
...
The both of you bursted into laughter.

"Holy shit that was hilarious!" Oh yeah I forgot to mention that you both videoed the who thing because there was a camera outside the door. You both watched the tape as you laughed.
You walked out of the janitor's closet as you and Allen walked down the hall.

"I can't believe that we pulled that off!"

"Believe it doll." He said. Yes he called you doll almost all the time, but this was different. After that you feel a bit turned on.

"Anyways I gotta go back to my dorm, my gals are up for yaoi night."

"How about we do this before you go hm?" You were suddenly pulled into a classroom. He pinned you on the desk and grind your hips. You let out a moan as he nears your blushing face.

"I know you want me doll." He licks his lips as he ends the gap. He hungrily kisses you roughly. You liked it rough. He slips his hands under your skirt.

"I really wanna taste your mayonnaise." He seductively whispers.

No lemon for you!

Hahahahahaha!!!! No lemon for you Miss Reader-chan! Mwahahahaha!!!
Anyways I am trying to reduce the lemons because I wrote two lemons in one row so I've gotta reduce before this will turn into a lemon book, which I am not planning to make.
So anyways ciao for now!

-Pumpkin