Because I Don't Love You

Chapter 24

Kalila's POV:

I quietly stare at the plants and flowers dito sa may garden namin sa loob ng building. This is an area where you can actually clear your mind or just relax. Maraming halaman sa paligid at napakalawak ng area. I am currently sitting in a bench while drinking coffee to ease my mind.

Ilang araw na rin ang nakalipas mula nung nagkasakit si Mireille at tumuloy sa bahay ko. Hindi ko na rin siya napigilan nung bigla siyang umalis. It just pains me seeing how much she's been hurt about what I said before. But at the same time, I cannot blame her for it. Feel ko deserve ko lahat ng inis at galit niya sakin.

Wala siyang ibang ginawa kundi gawin ang makakaya niya para manatili sa tabi ko noong nawala ang papa ko 5 years ago. I was very hard to deal with, but she still managed to be with me. Napaka-understanding niya, pero hindi ko man lang nagawang intindihin siya. At that time, I feel like I don't know myself. Parang galit na galit ako sa mundo.

Hindi ko rin maintindihan ngayon kung ano ba talaga ang ginagawa ko noon. Basta ang alam ko lang, hindi ko kilala ang sarili ko sa mga panahon na yun.

Mireille was the only person that was there for me at that time. Wala akong ibang sinandalan kundi siya. Kaya lahat ng sama ng loob, pagod at inis ko.. sa kanya ko naibigay. I was so selfish.

Matapos siyang lumayo. Saka ko pinagsisihan lahat ng sinabi at ginawa ko sa kanya. I took her for granted.. so much.. and I regret it every single day and I want to make up for it. I want to show her how much I've changed. Ayoko na maging toxic na Kalila na kinamuhian niya noon. 

After she left my side..

Parang nagunaw na rin ang buong mundo ko.

Nung nasa iisang school pa kami, sinubukan kong suyuin siya at paulit-ulit na humingi ng tawad. But things started to hit me differently when she started looking at me with hate and anger. Year after, when she graduated, the thought slowly sinked in that she completely pushed me out of her life. Dun na nagsimula na gabi-gabi ko siyang naiisip. Hindi siya umaalis sa puso't isip ko. I tried pushing the thought of her away. But it just made things difficult.

That's when I realized how much my heart screams for her.

Nakatulala pa rin ako sa mga halaman when my thoughts were suddenly interrupted nang may narinig ako na tumawag sa pangalan ko.

"Kalila!", I heard a voice from a distance.

I turned to face her. Si Bea. Yung ka-department ko. . She was smiling from ear-to-ear as she approached me.

"Uhmm, birthday ko kasi ngayon.. Kaya naman magha-handaan at kantahan sa bahay namin, diyan lang sa malapit. Punta ka please?",she said as she put her palms together.

She fixed her gaze at me while I slowly nodded. "Okay", I smiled uneasily. "Happy Birthday pala!",I tried to sound cheerful as much as I can. "Pasensya ka na ngayon ko lang nalaman. Saka na yung regalo ha?", I lightly chuckled while I scratched the back of my neck. 

She playfully pat my shoulder. "Huy wala yun, okay lang. Thank you at okay na ko na makakapunta ka mamaya", she winked. "Gusto mo sabay ka na samin ni Sab papunta dun?", tukoy niya sa isa pa naming ka-department.

"Okay. Sige", I lightly smiled as I nodded. Sa totoo lang medyo nahihiya talaga ako pero isa na rin kasi sa maibibigay mong regalo sa taong may birthday ay samahan siyang magcelebrate. Kaya lulunukin ko muna lahat ng hiya ko ngayon.

"Thank you, Kalila. Na-appreciate ko sobra", she smiled warmly. "Kita na lang tayo sa may lobby sa baba ha", she waved her hand as she slowly walked away.