How Not To Be A Werewolf (Editing)

Burning My Pants And Other Magic...

The next day I woke to the sound of Victoria practically bashing down the door to my room.

I've had worse starts to a morning. Not many, but I've had worse.

After quickly getting dressed I joined a surprisingly spritely Victoria and Kian in the living room, where Victoria had her spell book out again. She was pacing up and down, making me feel nervous. While she read her lips were moving slightly as she took in the words.

I didn't want to disturb her so I looked to Kian who welcomed me into the room with a wide smile, and an odd look sideways to Victoria, that was clearly meant to indicate something, although I had no idea what.

I'm sure if she had seen him he'd be walking around with a bloody nose - if vampires had blood that is. Not really something that I wanted to think about first thing in the morning.

Maybe I should say something?

Of course Kian would be too scared to disturb her. That had to be it. Victoria was an enigma, and definitely as scary as she was powerful. Learning that she was the reason a spell got made illegal only served to make me worry about our plan. I couldn't afford for anything to go wrong.

"Are we ready to go?" I asked tentatively, praying Victoria wouldn't bite my balls off for interrupting her concentration.

Looking up from the book Victoria was smiling. I had known her all for all of five minutes, but still, it seemed out of character for her. I saw her more as the 'head first and fuck the consequences' type. Her knowing smile frightened me way more than her usual brand of brashness.

"Of course we're ready," Victoria replied. She snapped the book shut, making me jump, and looked down at the watch on her hand. The strap matched the yellow of her trousers, but, not much else of her outfit. Her top was an acid green, the bun that tied her hair up into a ponytail was red, and she wore a fluffy purple cardigan to complete the weird ensemble. "It's almost quarter to nine. We need to get to our position before Harry unleashes Hyde."

Kian quickly pulled on a respectable looking face as Victoria turned around to look at him.

You're such an ass Kian.

I pushed the thought out loud, knowing that he would be able to hear what I was thinking.

Victoria started to explain how we were going to work the transcoinder spell once we were at the sight of the attack. I looked over and saw Kian smirk at me.

He really is an ass.

"So, do we all understand the plan?" Victoria asked looking at us both as she finished her explanation. For a moment neither of us dared to answer. "You weren't listening, were you? Typical men. You're only interested if it revolves around food or sex."

"Well, that's a huge part of it," Kian admitted, "But, I can promise you it's not just about sex. Well, not entirely. And, I've already had breakfast."

Victoria tightened her lips in annoyance until they were only a thin white line. Kian realised she was about to explode and quickly backtracked.

"Anyway, I'm sure you've covered all the important things," he said quickly. "We just need to get to the site of the attack and wait until those SPECTRE douches run off after Hyde. That's about it, right?"

Smart move.

"Food is also important," I offered. Having just woken up I hadn't had any breakfast, and now Kian had mentioned it, I was hungry.

"I guess it'll have to do." Victoria said with a sigh, "I'm not going to go over the whole bloody thing again. Do you both have your offerings ready for the spell at least?"

"I have mine here," Kian confirmed as he pulled a small, clear plastic container from the pocket of his tight leather trousers. Inside was what looked like an incredibly small, but sharp-looking stone. "It's a piece of one of my fangs," he explained, probably for my benefit.

"Do you have your offering?" Victoria asked, turning to look at me.

"Yeah." I blushed a lot as I pulled my bright red boxers out of my pocket. It wasn't exactly a perfect offering, but it would have to do.

"Boxers?" Kian asked with a smirk, and a slight wink, as I hastily shoved them back into my pocket. "Good choice."

"Well, I can suffer going commando as long as this plan works."

"Who's suffering?" Kian smirked.

"Are we done with the flirting, guys?" Victoria cut in, "Because if we don't leave now then we'll be too late."

We both apologised as Victoria told us to stand together in a circle and hold hands. I had Kian on my left, and Victoria holding my right hand. The spellbook was placed on the floor in the middle of our compact circle. It opened to a page that seemed to depict a transportation spell, at least that's what I assumed the spell was. The image of people's missing body parts being left behind seemed to tell a different story.

I chose to ignore that part.

As we closed the circle Victoria shut her eyes and started chanting in a voice that was suddenly a lot deeper and creepier than her own. "Undi Homs Vwet Mar Gaerh... Undi Homs Vwet Mar Gaerh..."

Just when I was about to point out that the spell didn't seem to be working, the room around us just disappeared. All I could see was pitch black completely surrounding all sides, although I could still feel Kian and Victoria holding onto my hands.

The oddest thing; there was no sound whatsoever. If Victoria was still chanting, I couldn't hear it.

So fucking weird.

I started to feel a little claustrophobic, until all of a sudden there was a riot of bright green colour. I felt my ears pop as the pressure around us ceased.