Calamity

class

I woke up the next day in my front yard in my boxers. Emily was only 10 feet away, dressed like Stitch from Lilo and Stitch. The car was parked halfway in the grass. I just barely stood up.

"Dude. Dude wake up." I said as I lightly kicked Emily. She woke up and looked at me.

"What happened last night?" She groaned.

"All I know is that we got fucked up." I answered.

I helped her up. Jacob then pulled up. He got out carrying a bag.

"Good. You guys are finally awake." He said. He walked up to us. And hit the both of us across the face. "I had to babysit the 2 of your dumb asses because you were too high out of this damn world to function!"

"Please stop yelling. Goddamn." I groaned.

He pulled us both inside. The house was a disaster. Emily and I plopped down on the couch.

"Why am I in my underwear?"

"Because you declared to be the best make stripper ever. Thank god you only went down to your underwear."

"Holy shit. It's 1pm?" Emily pointed out.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Jacob asked.

"Sitting on your roof eating grapes." I answered.

"God. You did so much more than that." He sighed. "After throwing grapes at me you guys climbed down a tree and got in the car then drove home, so I followed you in my car. You guys 'parked' in the yard then got out. You went inside and Emily changed into a Stitch costume as Chris stood on the table and removed clothing while singing a really bad rendition of rocket queen. You guys ran around outside then fucking blacked out in the yard."

Emily and I laughed. But he clearly wasn't amused. Emily and I then decided to just go to bed. We were exhausted.

The next morning I woke up. I felt a lot better somehow. I did my morning routine and drove to work. I sat at my desk and waited for the class to come in. They were all smirking and giggling. The bell rang and I stood up.

"So how was your weekend, Mr. Rose? Specifically Saturday." Samantha asked.

"God. How much did you guys witness?" I sighed.

"Well yu sent us all an email..." Brandon began. "It said 'I need you all to assemble a team to take over the lizard and snail tribe. From, Sir Blueberry.'"

"And I saw you dressed as Santa, with a sword, going down the street, on a skate board, being pulled by a car, then jumping onto the car and screaming." Samantha added.

"Jacob told me that you and Emily were on Jacob's roof throwing grapes at him while hissing like cats." Abby announced.

"And then yesterday I saw you in your front yard only in boxers passed out with a girl dressed like Stitch." Isaac said.

"Lucky." Sammatha told Isaac.

"Can we have an explanation, maybe a moral?" Lilly implied.

"Well all I can say is don't do acid and find yourself someone who's willing to take care of you all night so you don't get arrested or killed while you're all screwed up."

"Now that's relationship goals." Abby giggled. "Now about how Samantha told Isaac that he's supposedly 'lucky' that he saw him in passed out in his boxers in his front lawn... I don't know what y'all are expecting. But it's probably not that. And not even close to attractive."

"Actually it really was. For the first time I did not regret going for a walk." Isaac corrected. Everyone but Abby laughed.