𝕀𝕕𝕗𝕔 (𝕁𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪)

June

"betsy."
"Johnny? Holy shit! how are you man?"
"not good." i mumbled, holding back a sob. "Betsy i need to get out of here. i dont know how much longer-" i cut myself off, taking a shaky breath, "how much longer i can keep going like this." i finished off. 
"where's dally." i stayed silent. where was he? dunno. prolly banging a girl or maybe already dating twenty. so much for caring. if he'd care i wouldn't be here. cold, starving, and beaten. 
"im getting you out, i'm buying you a ticket."
"betsy i dont have the money-"
"on me, but you better tell me everything. deal?"
he nodded even though the girl on the other line couldnt see it, with another shaky breath he responded with "okay."
everything was okay for that moment. everything was gonna turn around and be okay. but still he had the same feeling he had since December one. you wouldve thunk he would do something about it but again, it went ignored. 

once he hung up he almost called Dally out of instinct. but he didnt. he couldnt. he couldnt tell anyone. if he did it was gameover. not so long after he got a text from betsy. the ticket.

Ponyboy was asleep so he called him, voicemail like he expected.

"hey pony. im leaving. i cant say where since i dont want anyone to know. i just cant be here. i dont think my parents can find another place to bruise or dally another piece of me to break. but i'll be okay! you be happy with curly fries okay-" i had to hold back a sob, this is the last time they'd hear my voice and i wouldnt cry. "im gonna miss you. but promise me, okay?"

after that i sent a few sentences to the gang, thanking them. they wouldnt read them till i was gone.

now dally. i hesitantly called him. 

voicemail.

"hey dal." I muttered, my voice sore."um. im leaving, not like it really matters to you huh?" I sighed, my leg bouncing. "i really loved you, yunno? I thought that we could actually work." I couldnt help it and let out a quiet choked sob, "weird thing is i still love you. and maybe i always will. take care of Ponyboy alright?" I sighed before mumbling an "i love you" that he probably would never hear before hanging up. shoving clothes and a blade in a bag i walked out of the house. the cool wind no longer piercing me but feeling nice against my face, red and tear filled. 
and i began to walk away. away from the lot, the curtis, bucks, my house. and away from Oklahoma with one question in mind.
"is everything going to be okay?"