H Series : Healing the Girl named Lime

28

     It was never the same and it will never be. I saw how my parents grieve while accepting I was the reason why they lost another. I saw how my little brother cry because of the less time they had and it was all my fault.

If I were the same lost boy in his own misery, I'd still stay on that forest with no light even if I'm holding a flashlight. But I wasn't. The people I hurt were too kind to help me move on. I slowly learned to accept it was an accident.

Yes, there were days I'd still think of it. There were days I'll still blame myself but I think I have gotten far where I thought I'd be stuck forever. I looked at him. The one who never left me.

My brother.

The only difference is he's up there but I'm looking down at his grave stone. I believe he's supposed to be the one who'll know about what's going to happen today.

"Kuya..." I smiled as the sudden gust of the wind hitted me at the silent cemetery.

"Alam kong wala ng iba pang mas sasaya para sa akin kung hindi ikaw. I remember how happy and passionate we both are at becoming lawyers. How you always tell me we will be the hottest sibling attorney's in court. How you tell yourself to prepare for me if ever we'll be facing each other in trials..." I chuckled after.

"Unfortunately, our dream was cut short. You sacrificed your dream for me. The will and drive you had for law was put into waste because of how a great brother you are to me. Yes, I would never be as good as you but I know if you're here, babatukan mo lang ako." 

"Sabi mo pa sa akin noon, ok lang na hindi ka magLaw basta ako oo. Ikaw ang magtutuloy ng business nina Dad kase ikaw panganay. Lagi mo na lang ako iniisip bilang kapatid mo. Ni hindi mo na nga inisip kung saan ka ba talaga sasaya..." I took a deep breath and looked up the sky.

"When I had a favor back then to take care of Lime for me, even though you hate her because you think she's one of your toughest competitor when it comes to me, you still did. Later on, you're busy checking up on how my condition goes kahit nga nung hindi ako ulit nagsalita kwento ka lang ng kwento eh..."

"You took care of her, held her when she is crying and I'm telling you this, that is it not because of my favor. It because you have always been a brother. To me. To her. To Frost. And because of that, you'll always be the greatest person in my eyes..."

"Thank you and I'm sorry, Kuya. I'll fulfill our lost dreams and find them. And now, I hope you are looking at me with that silly smile of yours telling me why the heck am I even in a long dress. Silly. It's my graduation gown. Listen to my speech later ok? It's for you." I wiped the lone tear and smiled at the sky painted with the majestic golden yellow and pink.