I don't deserve to live ~ Depressed Bakugou

~Sleep talking~

animefrog10 Thank you so much, you're comments really boosted my mood so I decided to write some more! 💕
Deku POV
I wake up in the bed, not remembering much. My head feels fuzzy and-
Oh
It came rushing back to me, and I feel a rush of relief and worry. I look next to me and there's a sleeping Kacchan. I feel my face turn a strange shade of puce as I turn away from him. My gaze fixes on the clock which is pretty much screaming at us. I feel panic rush over me like a waterfall, and I immediately start shaking Kacchan in an attempt to wake him up.
"Dekuuuu"
"Kacchan, wake up!" I quickly say, panic laced in my voice
"Dekuuuuu, pleaaasseeee"
"Please what?" I ask
"Let me make out with you"
OHOHO NO NO NO! TIME TO BACK UP! HAD A NICE TRIP! BYE!
"K-Kacchan! W-wake up! We need to get to school!" I say, embarrassed
Kacchan doesn't do as much as lift a finger, and the only moving in his body his his chest rising and falling with each breath he takes.
"K-KACCHAN WAKE UP!" I yell at him
Kacchan slowly and sleepily opens his eyes and looks at me, confused.
"Deku!" He exclaims happily and hugs me, "You bitch. Don't fucking leave me again asshole."
I laugh, still embarrassed from what he just said in his sleep, and hug him back. Kacchan glances at the clock and his eyes widen to the size of the moon.
"FUCK! WE'RE LATE FOR SCHOOL!" Kacchan shouts loudly as he gets up and pulls me along with him
We get changed in our school uniform and dash to class. We can hear the echoes of Mr Aizawa's monotone voice as we dash down the halls.
"You want to visit Midoriya?" Mr Aizawa asks
"Yes! It's been two weeks since we've last seen him!" Kirishima begs
"Errr okay, but be on your best behaviour." Mr Aizawa directs to the class, but mostly Kaminari
"Sorry we're late!" Kacchan says as we dash into the classroom
I rush into my seat and Kacchan does the same.
"What?" I ask as all the eyes are on us
Ohhhhhhhhh
I start laughing to myself, "Whoops," I laugh, "I'm back?"
The entire class runs over and hugs me, Kacchan being the first even though he already knows my arrival back, and I can hear some sniffles. When we pull away Aizawa sighs.
"Why didn't you tell us you were awake?" He asks, something that resembles a small smile creeps onto his face
"Oh uh, I don't know. I was pretty tired I guess." I reply vaguely
Aizawa nods and we all sit back into our seats for another day of learning.
Bakugou POV
Deku....hmm how do I put it?
I guess he's been acting strange since this morning.
I feel like I might have sleep talked or did something in my sleep? I think I did, I was partly awake, so I was partly aware of my actions. So...let me think about this.....what could I have done?
What did I do?
No matter how hard I think about it, I can't place my finger on what I might have done to Deku. I turn around to Deku and our eyes meet before he averts them immediately.
Okay
I definitely did something.
I don't know what.
But I did something.
"Bakugou, I know you're young and in love- but you need to pay attention." Mr Aizawa says
The class roars with laughter as I try to burry my face in my hands to hide my intense blush. The rest of the school day I try to place my finger on what I might have done or said to Deku that made him embarrassed or uncomfortable around me...
Deku and I walk in an uncomfortable silence as we walk back to our dorms. Anytime I try to talk to Deku he brushes off my words quickly, and the silence persists. It's getting really uncomfortable, and I don't know what I did.
"Hey Deku, I'm sorry-" I start
"Oh uh- this is my dorm ehehe~ cya~!" He quickly cute me off and ducks into his dorm
I violently shake the door and beg him to open it, to which I get silence. No response. I sigh heavily and say one last time before I leave.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what I did."
And then I walk away. I flop onto the bed.
Remind me why you are eating again?
Ew, fat
Ugly
Weak
Disgrace
You only did a small part in rescuing Deku, the heroes are the true saviours of your boyfriend.
Deku wants to break up with you
Deku wants to end things with you
I make a small frustrated, but sad scream of annoyance. The voices are back again. Fuck! I forgot to take a pill! I dash to the dresser and down a couple pills, but then it's too late, the voices are too loud. I go into the bathroom and throw everything back up that I had eaten. It burns my throat, I hate throwing up, but it has to be done. The sensation of the food coming back up again burns and hurts, yet I like the pain it gives me. Once my stomach is completely empty I grab out a knife.
⚠️Self harm alert⚠️
I grab the knife and drag it across my skin. A delight inducing crimson seeps out of the wound. I drag it across a couple more times, the blood seeping out makes me calmer. The blood drips down my arm, probably staining my arms. Then, everything goes fuzzy. When I've regained my thought process, I can see that my arm is littered with cuts. It's like a Christmas tree, decorated with ornaments to make the dull tree more lively. I wash my arms and the bloody water seeps down the drain. I wrap my arms up with bandages and it stops the bleeding.
⚠️You can read now⚠️
I roll my sleeves up over the fresh bandages. I sigh deeply, I have to be ready for the worst, if Deku wants to break up with me....
I have to be ready for it.
Even if I don't want it, I have to be ready for it. No matter how hard it will crush me, I have to be ready for it.
~1070 words~
Author here!
Sorry that I haven't been online/writing recently. I've been feeling pretty uninspired and all of my creative juices have been squeezed out of my brain doing god knows what. Seeing all your comments and kind words made me start writing again.
Sorry if it's not the best chapter/quality, I kind of forced this one out of my brain if that makes sense. I felt that I had to give back to you guys since I haven't written for so long, you know? Eh, sorry I don't really know what I'm saying and if it makes any sense. Anyway, have a good day readers! 💕