Masochistic Sonder | 𝐻𝒮 | Harry Styles

Chapter Twelve: Epiphanic Sense Of Love

Chapter Twelve: "Epiphanic Sense Of Love"

HIS EYES WOULD SPARKLE, they would glimmer with a tease, every time I cried or showed any reaction to his put-downs.

"Are you here to kill me?"
"I mean I've been doing some contemplating, if you're not an angel, you must be something else and I've been questioning if you're here to take away all my pain," I said as I gazed at the glitters that the moon reflection made shine in my bedroom, through the crystals of my chandeliers, they were breathtakingly beautiful, their beauty brought me to shed even more tears.

"Is there any pain left, are there any more reasons to cry, anyone?" I asked as I looked to my side.
There he aboded, I missed him, I missed him, I looked at William's outline with hefty wings at his back, they stood still and unnoticeably twitched from time to time, it was him, it had to be him.
I must have not heard him coming through my window as he always did, I might have been way too tuned in my head as always hearkening the many negative things I seemed to have to say to myself.

It was dark enough that I didn't even bother to try and see his face, I felt way too weak to bother to, my vision was blurry because of the hysterical tears gushing down.

At a point it was obvious he wasn't facing me and that his back was, they were broad and manly, his wings seem to grow from them just like flowers did, from deep below the ground, as brown as his eyes.

"You think you're the creator of this game, you think you're playing god with me," I whispered.

He slowly turned around, I could see everything a little more clearly than before, his hair was outlined by the shining of the moon, he had the meanest expression I had ever seen and I wasn't expecting it from his pretty face.

"You know everything right?" I asked and grabbed onto my silk blue sheets, I had managed to find the effort to change them during the weekend, I pushed them aside and drew both of my legs onto the floor and yet again the warm carpet welcomed my feeble body.
"You know that I can't take it when people come running in my life and suddenly leave, you know I can't take this much in this moment of my life!" I said unnerved, caressing my forehead.

He knew it all, his growing manipulative personality, dishonouring any laws of gravity by just creating nature, like tornados between his fingertips. No matter how many times he had tried to do to prove he wasn't going to hurt me, now it was too late I had broken the trust he had for me.
I knew he tried so hard for so long to gain mine that it hurt him mentally to think about it, how I ruined his before he could gain mine.

"It hurts just thinking about it," I said, there was something that weighted extremely heavy in my chest.

His long legs moved towards me, they were long-winded enough that he made it close to me in a matter of seconds and I could sense his presence growing closer and closer to me.
"What hurts to think about?" He interrogated.
He got close enough to me to bow down face to face, he breathed calmly, it didn't sound like a worried breath, he was just curious and not worried about what was driving me insane during his absence; his curly hair ticked on my forehead and his eyes glittered and it made me want to stare at them for longer.

"The thing is that I don't feel like I've grown this sudden Epiphanic sense of love during our worst moments, to an unbearable sexual tension whenever you're around me, it's that I feed off your energy like I've been starving for years, till the point that whenever you're around me I never feel like I he myself so much," I said, with a sincere smile on my lips, I heaved my lips back into my mouth and lightly licked them.

His warm and tired hands touched me slowly, intimately, unnoticeably and I smothered against his fingertips, all that unbearable pain was gone but who was I at that moment, Bastet or Harry had I taken onto their personalities?
No, that was me, I never thought I'd be the type of person to devour kindness without leaving any leftovers.

"Long time ago there was a god, it was just a child with a shallow hole in their stomach between its ribs it made the earth, the creator of their universe, that gent did wish that gent wast dead, for their creation was not the one the child envisioned," he said with a quiet and deep voice, I listened with eyes closed and all ears.

"What was their name?" I asked, smirking.

"It's not my place to say it, it's said that whoever knows isn't able to assert it, unless the one the one seeking to know, finds out by themselves," he replied.

I had shortly forgotten that Bastet had called that day saying she was coming over.
I was hypnotised by the touch of William that everyone didn't matter at that point, he made me forgetful of the pain and that meant I had forgotten about everything as an effect.
I hoped he wasn't heaping my feelings and leaving me to draining them out of myself alone, all by my self at two in the morning.

"Then I shall seek myself and find out," I whispered with a tease in my eyes.
I reached out my hand and grabbed onto his arm and pulled his body closer.

The clicking and clacking sound of not fitting high heels caught my attention, the dragging of the heel onto the tiles instead of them lifting gently from the ground by each step, sounded familiar, it must have been Bastet.

I couldn't feel his touch on me anymore and neither mine on his skin, he had left as quietly as he walked into my life, I just sat there and quietly looked into the darkness that dwelled in front of me.
How many times was that going to happen? How many times was he going to come then leave, all I was feeling was emptiness and hunger for heat, famine for affection and there wasn't any.