Masochistic Sonder | 𝐻𝒮 | Harry Styles

Chapter Eleven: Watermelon Sugar

Chapter Eleven: "Watermelon Sugar"

OUR LOVE WASN'T written in books, it was written on walls, craved on gold, written on bed sheets and in museums. Yet we hadn't even held hands.

"Thank you for picking up my little brother, again" he smiled looking at me, he really couldn't keep his curly messy hair to himself.

"I'd do anything for little Seth, during these days I've gotten to know him better, I never thought I'd say this but he's just so unique for his age; I feel like I've known him from somewhere, he looks like someone I miss," I said looking to my right just to find Harry gazing at me, what expression was that I had never seen it before?

I trusted Seth and through the days he never showed up to my house, I realised I shouldn't have talked about the wings at his back and it was obviously a sensitive topic.

"You find it hard to love."
Those words sounded like they were going to make our story begin but that day as my eyes watched outside from my window I felt something crawl inside my chest a feeling I'd never felt before.

"I've just installed a swimming pool at home and you guys are more than welcome to come," I said as I tried to smile, changing the argument.
Why did whatever was happening at the moment had to feel like summer, why did it feel like when I had just finished a book or just finished correcting a chapter, why did it have to feel so heavy and uncomfortable on my chest?

The rest of the ride was just quiet and the only songs that played were from Harry's phone, which was connected to my car.

♡

"Why don't you jump inside, the water is so refreshing, it's warm and it feels so good," he smiled looking up at me.
I looked down, I had no choice but to look at his face one more time, it was imperfectly perfect, with his now soaked hair, they stuck to his forehead; due to my silence, he urgently moved his hair off his face to have a better read of my expression.
"Or is there something that's bothering you?" he asked as if he knew something was up, it might have been written all over my face.

Water scared me, the water all gathered in one place scared me, no matter how clean it looked. The plain sight of it just filled my chest with sorrow, I could sense my hands shaking but I collected them behind my back concealing them from Harry's curiosity. I glared down to my bare feet, I shifted them around and clicked my tongue to the roof of my mouth in sync with my feet's movements.
"What are you saying?" I bitterly asked laughing, I looked in his brown eyes like chocolate, they filled up with love and affection, at that moment I didn't think of it as anything like pity towards me.
He must have felt sorry for me.

He walked out of the swimming pool, as there were stairs on every edge going downwards, and he stood right in front of me. The warming water dripped down his sculpted body and the sun made his soft silky skin glimmer, not even the water dared to dishonour it.
"You must like the sight," he cracked up.
I just eyed him, annoyed and his laughter slowly died, he took in a deep breath and let go of it.
"What exactly are you scared of?" He asked, dragging his eyebrows closer, after a while of pure silence, at that moment I was lost, I wasn't paying attention but that question brought me back down to earth.

What was I scared of?
It wasn't a question, he simply knew and I didn't and that's why he didn't bother to ask.

"I've seen sunsets more beautiful than this," I shrugged and looked up to meet his eyes, I ignored his statement, I could perceive something inside of me load but I never understood it was affection I felt, an affection I realised I had for Harry as he sounded like he cared for me.

I watched as the sides of his lips curved a little and he slightly exhaled.
"You really have an attitude, sweetheart," he chuckled, not surprised, he was never the one to like to be disrespected in any way.
I loved it when he called me sweetheart.
"I say, we should go for a swim," he smiled and in a nick of time, he scantily got on his knees and grabbed me in a bridal manner and jumped into the pool with me in his arms.

I hoped the children were not watching.
What else could have gone wrong?

"Please let go of me!" I tried to scream.
His arms held me like he was scared to break me, I could feel something beautifully beating in my chest. Once I was completely submerged underwater it beat louder in my ears, I begged the universe and hoped Harry couldn't hear it as well but after that sensation left as quick as it came when Harry gently let go of me in the water; from then on I was simply floating like a dead body in an endless sea.

It was so overwhelming, I started to hyperventilate my lungs out.
An image flashed through the darkness: a girl wearing a big fluffy golden dress, with her back facing me, perhaps a princess, she was at the edge of a river and in her position, she seemed to be vulnerably crying. I wanted to cry too. I wanted to pour my eyes out. I begged every inch of my body to cry, to let it all out and when I did I felt a lot better, I couldn't see anything, everything was scaringly blurry and in the corners, there was a red vignette for being too long underwater.

Without hesitation, a pair of strong but delicate hands, wrapped around the weakest my body had ever felt in years and pulled me closer, they turned me around and I could feel their fingertips trembling even in the water.

"Ozris," shouted the girl in my vision as she tiredly turned around. I couldn't see her face, all I could see we're her lips, they were beautiful and along her cheeks shiny crystals rushed down.

"Isis, can you hear me?"
I could but I just wanted to be better off dead, I tried hard to come back to the word of the awaken and I succeeded, he was there with me the entire time and I couldn't be less gratified.

"Harry" I whispered as I tried to open my arms to hug him but he started swimming towards the edge of the swimming pool, with me in his arms and I simply sighed annoyed. Before my feet emerged out of the water I looked down and the waters were red, crimson red, I swallowed hard and "The water. The water is turning red!"

"Aaliyah, you startled me so much," he said almost as if he didn't hear me screaming. The waters turned back to clear.

"Did you hear it too?" I asked once he firmly stood onto the concrete ground beside the pool, I hoped he heard it, I did, that would have made our life easier from then on.

He simply looked at me, his eyes were beautifully worried and I still felt something heavy sting in my chest. He brought his hands to my face and moved one of my black curls out from my sight, he slightly smiled and unhurriedly opened and shut his eyes.
"You just need a little rest, that's it," he said.
Why was he ignoring my question? I didn't need his pity, from that moment I felt like that guy would have only felt pity towards me, he would have been disappointed in me not being able to swim.

There was just something in the water that felt way too familiar, there was something in that water that reminded me of me.

♡

Later on that day, I just told Harry to take my car and drive himself home, I didn't care at all, I was traumatised mentally and I questioned why.
He eventually dropped Nephthys back to the city and later on drove the car to his house, only him and Seth in the backseats.
He called to check up on me, I was okay, the last thing I needed was for someone to force me to talk in a moment like that.