Unspoken Love

19: THREE WORDS

     Scorpius took a deep breath, the next thing he would say would feel humiliating and slightly cheesy, but it was truth and he didn't know how else to say it. And it was only embarrassing because he was being vulnerable...but it was necessary. This was his only chance.

"You're the light in the darkness, Albus," Scorpius said quietly, "I've known that since the day I met you. I've never had to look for anything more because you're everything. Everything. My best friend from the start...the love of my life all along" he said, desperately as Albus looked up at him with a slightly doubtful expression.

"If I was everything, why did you leave me?" Albus whispered, "Why did you leave me after you promised you wouldn't." his voice cracked and he swallowed painfully, he didn't want Scorpius to see him cry.

"I..." Scorpius's lip quivered, "I was stupid." he cried. Albus shook his head and looked down, this explanation wasn't good enough.

"Please Albus, I don't know, I..." Scorpius took a deep breath to bring clarity to his muddled thoughts, "I..I was tired. I was tired of sneaking around and I...I wanted people to know! I was afraid you weren't proud to have me like I was proud to have you."

"That's stupid," Albus snapped, looking up with tears in his eyes, "Of course I was proud to have you. I wanted to tell everyone, but I was scared and you pushed me." he said, getting angry, "I would have been fine with it eventually but you pushed!"

"I know! I know!" Scorpius sobbed, "I know I did! And If I could go back in time and take it back I would!"

"Well you can't." Albus said, more quietly now.

"Please," Scorpius begged, "How do I fix this? How do I fix us? I can't do this anymore, be apart. I..." he drew in a ragged breath. He had to say it now. The three words had been swimming in his mind for so long but even more so when they had been apart. He was afraid if he didn't say it his chest would never stop feeling tight and his heart would never stop beating too fast for the rest of him to keep up. For weeks it felt like he had words on the tip of his tongue that he wanted to just get out but he couldn't. But now he had the audience he had been waiting for and the time was now. Scorpius took a deep breath and stared through Albus's green eyes.

"I love you, Albus." he sort of whispered it because if he was any louder he'd burst into tears. Albus heard it loud and clear. He looked up immediately with his mouth slightly open, he couldn't tell if he was mad that Scorpius had chosen now to tell him, or completely over the moon that he had said it at all. These words, he'd wanted to hear them for so long.

"You're just saying that so we can make up." Albus said breathlessly as his heart began pumping rapidly with adrenaline. He didn't believe what he was saying. Scorpius wouldn't say it if he didn't mean it, Albus knew that. But he couldn't help feeling stupid if he forgave all right now. Scorpius had hurt him, badly. Left him heartbroken for days.

"I'm not," Scorpius exclaimed tearfully. He scooted closer to Albus who was sat frozen, listening to Scorpius's confession. 'I love you Albus. I love you' replayed in his head. I can't believe he just said that.

"I know I love you...because nothing feels okay if you aren't there. I breath wrong, I walk funny, my hands shake too much because my heart never slows down and it just feels like four walls are closing in on my constantly, it never stops," Scorpius sobbed, "It's always too loud, it's always too crowded, I don't feel safe. You make me feel safe. You make things feel okay." he wiped the tears that were streaming down his face away as Albus stared back into Scorpius's eyes with tear filled ones of his own.

"Even when stuff happened like getting beat up by Elliot or Travis or terrorized by Jacob or our parents caused drama or anything else, I was still okay because I had you. These past couple weeks have been the worst of my life." Scorpius whispered.