Bella's Little Sister

Chapter 32

The faces of each tourist I had seen in Italy flashed quickly through my mind. I could hear every one of their screams as they were mercilessly slaughtered by the Volturi, never again to enjoy life, never again to visit with their families, and never again to breathe.

I jerked awake at the sudden feeling of a cold hand resting on my arm. And with the nightmare still so vivid in my mind, I shoved it away and quickly moved into an upright position in my bed. My breathing was shallow and shaky as I gasped for air. The tourists' faces once again flashed through my mind, and the faces of the Volturi followed along quickly after. It took me a second to realize that it was Edward sitting on the edge of my bed, and not Aro of the Volturi himself.

I shook my head as I pushed my clenched fists painfully against my eyes, and drew my knees up close to my chest. All I wanted was to rid my thoughts of the horrible images that I could still see so vividly, though I knew it did not matter either way. There was a very strong, very real possibility that I would be having nightmares for weeks to come.

Edward snaked his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to where he sat. "You can sleep," he told me quietly, his lips brushing against the skin of my cheek. "I'll still be here when you wake up."

My gaze turned to where my sister lay in her bed, soundly sleeping, and I couldn't help but envy her in that moment. "No," The words were soft as I spoke them. "I can't." It was rather difficult for me to say the words aloud to him. "I'm afraid you'll disappear again."

"Jess," Edward started slowly. "The only reason I left was because I thought I was protecting you. I needed you to have a chance at a normal and happy life."

"I'm not normal!" The frustration in my voice as I said the words to him was nearly tangible. They had also come out louder than I had intended them to, so when Bella stirred slightly, I held my breath and waited. But when she didn't wake, I turned back to face Edward. "Why can't you understand that?" I shook my head again, leaning back against the headboard of my bed as I sighed. "It was so easy for you to leave."

Edward reached out to take my hand, but I refused to let him do so. "Jess, leaving you was the hardest thing I've done in 100 years. And I swear, I will never fail you again. I'm so sorry." He pulled me into his lap before I could do anything else, and wrapped his arms firmly around me when I tried to push him away again. After a brief moment of silence, he whispered, "Charlie's coming," before he disappeared.

"Hey," dad said as he opened the door. "You okay?" His gaze flickered over to my sister before turning back to me.

"I'm fine," I stated flatly, not bothering to even look his way. "You don't have to worry."

"Yeah," dad sighed. "You know, the last time you said that, you took off. And I didn't see you for three days." Dad stood up against the door frame, fiddling with something in his hands while his eyes searched my face. "Jess, don't ever do that to me again. Ever. And you're grounded... for the rest of your life."

"Yeah, I figured as much." I answered, my tone still flat. Dad shook his head and shut the door, leaving the room in near darkness, save for the moonlight streaming in through the window.

"I'm not technically breaking any of his rules," Edward told me as he reappeared. "He did say I couldn't take a step through the door, but I came in through the window." He sighed when I did not respond to his words. "He won't forgive me easily."

I turned my head slightly towards him, but I did not meet his probing gaze. "Yeah, well, I probably won't, either."

"Jess-" he started.

But I did not let him finish whatever he had been intending to say. I moved my hands up to rub at my face before gripping at my hair in frustration and anger. "You don't understand-" I started to say.

"Wait," Edward cut in, his tone soft. "Let's get out of the house. You can talk more freely without your father or Bella interfering."

A small part of me wanted to refuse his offer. An even smaller side wanted to tell him to get out and leave me alone. But above all else, I needed to tell him exactly how I felt, and doing so when I was out of the house would be much easier than if I stayed here. "Fine." I threw on a jacket and a pair of shoes, never once meeting his eyes. But before I had the chance to say anything else, he had picked me up and disappeared out the window.

Edward set me down just outside his home, watching me closely as I moved away from where he stood and closer to the trees lining the edge of the yard. He was silent, waiting patiently for me to gather my thoughts before I began speaking.

"You don't understand what you did to me, do you?" I questioned softly, knowing he would still hear me and the undercurrent of anger my voice carried, despite the distance I had put between us. "Before I met you, everyone saw me as the quiet, little sister of Bella Swan. No one understood why I refused to talk for so many years, but I didn't because I couldn't." I turned back to face him now, and allowed everything that I was feeling to show clearly in my expression.

Though Edward took a step or two closer, he still remained silent, waiting for me to continue, as he knew there was still more that I wanted to say.

"I didn't talk because I was afraid of doing something stupid, or saying the wrong thing... but of course, you already know that." I paused, taking a deep breath before speaking again. "And then when you came... and we met... you brought out a side of me that had been in hiding for so long. I became a different person because of you, and I finally began to feel as though I actually belonged somewhere." Tears blurred my vision as I looked back at Edward. "And then you left, and you took that part of me with you."

A sudden feeling of panic washed over me then, leaving me breathless, and I began to feel like I was falling apart. My heart was racing, making my breaths nothing more than short, quick bursts of air as I tried to breathe. There was also a ringing that started up in my ears as my head began to spin, leaving me dizzy. My fingers clawed roughly at my neck, leaving the skin burning from the force of my nails. My knees, which were weak and unstable, gave out. I dug my nails into the damp earth as I collapsed to the ground, crying heavily. And every emotion that I had felt over the past few months quickly came back in full force.

There was a rush of wind as Edward moved to kneel before me, taking my hands into his own. With a cool finger, he raised my chin to meet his gaze. As I looked into his eyes, I saw everything I felt reflected within them. His expression was as broken as I felt. I flickered my gaze upwards to see his family standing on the second-floor balcony, watching me sink to the lowest point of my life that I had ever before experienced.

"I'm so sorry," Edward apologized, his voice strained. "I never should have left you. What can I do?"

"Stay," I whispered before moving closer to him. Edward pulled me into the protective embrace of his arms, rocking gently as he ran his hands through my hair in a manner that began to soothe me slightly. "Just stay... I need you."

"I'll be here for you from now on," he promised. "Forever."