A Moment in the Cabin

You Have Bad Luck

The feeling in the bedroom is heavy and I know that Rose can hear my heart pounding in my chest. "There is something to talk about," I say quietly, more to myself than her. Rose shifts around on my chest, rubbing her cheek against the material of my shirt before sighing heavily. I run my fingers through her hair as I listen to her breathing, and by the sound of it, I can tell she is forcing herself to breathe normally. I reach my arm over and turn the bedside lamp on, making Rose flinch from the sudden light.

Rose grumbles and pushes herself up from my chest, sitting on my lap with her hands on my abdomen and her eyes downcast. I reach up carefully and cup her cheek, wiping the stray tear she missed that hid in her lashes. "Talk to me. Please, Roza," I say, mindful of the fact that everyone else in the house is asleep. Rose swallows loudly and sighs, looking up at the ceiling with her tilted back.

I sit up and cup her face, pulling her back to look at me. The look on her face is a mixture of her mask and panic, but she won't look me in the eyes. I watch her lips move but whatever she is saying is too low to comprehend. I shake my head slowly, moving my head to catch her gaze. "I didn't hear you, say that again."

"I said I don't want to lose you," she whispers as her eyes finally meet mine. I rest my head against hers and slide my hands down her neck, pulling her against my chest in a gentle embrace. Her hands fist into the back of my shirt and her breath washes over my face in choppy breaths.

"You aren't going to lose me, sweetheart," I whisper. The statement doesn't seem to comfort her because a small whimper leaves her lips and she presses her head into my shoulder, her arms moving to wrap around my neck. I press my lips to her head and rub my hands over her back.

"If you reallocate, I'll never get to see you! I only get to see you a handful of times during school season, but if you come back here, I will get to see you maybe once a year!" Rose sniffles into my arm. I sigh and kick myself mentally. If I had known this was the reaction I would pull from her, I wouldn't have voiced the thought.

I've dealt with bouts of homesickness so many times and the closer we get to leaving, the more I feel the impending sickness. "Roza look at me," I say. Rose lifts her head a moment later, her large eyes full of tears and I shake my head at her again, kissing her nose. "It was just a thought, Roza, I'm not going anywhere but home, with you," I soothe, brushing my lips over hers softly.

Rose leans into my lips and lets a small sigh pass her lips as her hand comes up to my face. "If you really want to stay here, I wouldn't force you to go back," Rose croaks but I press my lips to hers again, silencing any other protests. I couldn't leave her behind if my life depended on it.

I lay back down and wincing at the loud creek the springs make under our weight. "It's just a bit of homesickness," I whisper to her as she tucks her head under my chin. I play with the hem of her shirt before slipping my hand underneath it, caressing the skin of her back, smirking to myself as the gesture makes her shiver.

Rose moves around and makes herself more comfortable on my chest, hooking one leg over my hip and the other straightening out, rubbing the top of her foot against my leg. A gesture I've noticed she does when she wants to comfort herself when she's stressed or upset. I brush her hair away from her face and stroke the skin below her jaw. "Something else is on your mind," I say.

Rose's foot stops for a moment before the action picks up again. "I have lost so many people in my life already. But I'm scared that you would resent me after a while," Rose whispers, the speed of her foot moving increases. I squeeze my arms around her and kiss the top of her head. I could never resent her and knowing that she is scared hurts.

"I plan on spending the rest of my life with you, nothing is going to change you being a part of my life."

Rose nods her head in understanding before untucking her head, reaching her neck up to reach my lips. I meet her halfway and seal with mouth against hers, trying to pour as much love into it as I can. I release her mouth and rub my nose against hers, making her giggle quietly.