Until you call again. (Complete)

Broken Hearted Girl.

I haven't spoken to him in over two days. I know he's worried because he keeps blowing up my phone.

I don't know what to say to him, how will I face him?

"How long have you been in love with him?" Jonny had asked me randomly as I nibbled on a blueberry muffin. We were at Tristan's sister's birthday party and Tristan was inside a bouncy castle playing with the smaller kids. He looked so cute, yet so giant inside with all those kids and I couldn't help but laugh and admire at the same time. He always loved kids. He wants to have at least three in his life.

Jonny's question caught me off guard, not just because it was random but because it shook my world for a second before I begged my heart to calm down.

Tristan has been my friend for almost a year now. We have such a great relationship and do I love him? Of course, a lot. I'd give my life for him. So yes I look at him in admiration. It's normal with friends. right?

"Don't be ridiculous." I'd played it off. The last thing I wanted was for him to see me hesitate. But it must've been too late because,

"Don't do that. Don't deny it."

He wasn't even looking at me.

I wanted to say something in retaliation but my mind seemed void of words, seemingly because it was reacting to the realization. The realization that I was in love with my best friend. So I didn't say anything, I just kept quiet. My mind didn't though.

Jonny and I sat in silence for what felt like forever. I don't know why he was quiet but I was quiet because my mind was in a war with my heart. I looked over at Tristan who looked back at me with a smile and I felt my heart beat uncontrollably at that. It was like I was seeing him for the first time. As more than just my best friend, but someone my heart craved for.

I continued to watch him play as tears threatened to spill from my eyes. My emotions were uncontrollable at this point.

"Don't worry. I won't say anything." Jonny had said after a while, clearly sensing my sudden mood change.

I didn't tell him this but I really appreciated that. I was still struggling to grasp it myself and the last thing I needed was to have Tristan know.

I'd gone home eventually that afternoon without saying goodbye to Tristan, he'd called me but I didn't answer. For two whole days, the longest I've been without seeing him since our friendship started.

Now as I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling, I'm realizing the depth of my feelings for him. How could I have missed it?

My heart aches because I slept the last two days without hearing his voice. It's become my nightly lullaby that I'm now dependent on for a restful sleep. I need to hear his voice in the morning in order to have a decent day ahead. I need his constant presence in order to be ok.

Two days of overthinking and ignoring his calls, I decide I'm going to tell him. I'm going to tell Tristan that I'm in love with him.

I think he's in love me too.

Because of how he treats me. He's so gentle with me and he always puts me first. He's not necessarily horrible to other girls but I seem to be the most important in his life, after his mother of course.

He'll drop anything and everything in order to be there for me and make sure I'm doing ok. Not to mention he calls me his nugget.

I let my heart smile at that. How could I have missed the signs?