Until you call again. (Complete)

The climb.

"You're a difficult person to talk to." It literally feels like I'm talking to a wall.

"Mia you talk too much." He says not even bothering to look up from his laptop.

I don't know what to do.

"It can't be true though right?"

He did say Meghan accused him of being in love with me, we laughed about that. Right? There's no way it's true.

"I mean I guess he's been acting weird lately, but that doesn't necessarily mean he's in love with me now, does it?" I continue to speak alone as my dear friend continues to ignore me.

I haven't been able to sleep since my session with Meg earlier today. It's now past midnight and I didn't want to be alone so I decided to visit Jake who also couldn't sleep because he has deadlines to meet. So now we're sitting comfortably on the couch as I pour my heart out to him. Pour my heart out to his form I mean.

I complain about the fact that he doesn't respond to my frustrations but if I'm being honest, I don't want him to. I don't want anyone's input or advice right now, I just want to vent.

And that was why Jake was the perfect person to visit.
He's not at all an emotional person, so I don't expect him to understand what I'm feeling. I like that he's just sitting here and not saying anything but I'll never tell him that though.

"What are you working on?" I decide to let my mind slow down a bit.

"I'm not allowed to tell." I guess he listened to his dad. His eyes are still on the laptop and I'm getting annoyed that he's barely acknowledging me now.

"Why does your dad not like me?" He pauses for just a second before recovering from whatever that was.

"What gave you that idea Mia?" He's back to typing again.

"I don't know, I guess the way he treats me."

And the fact that everything I've ever done for him was never enough. Now he won't even let me help out at the company, that honestly hurts.

"He's like that with everyone." He says now void of emotion and I can't help but,

"Is he like that with you too?" Sometimes I don't care that he's closed off, but sometimes I get curious.

I see him tightening his jaw before,

"He's just... different."

Is that a yes?

"Why can't you just see him for who he is? Why do you keep defending him?" Clearly he's not a fan of his father's ways.

He sighs then closes his laptop.

"When you can't change things you learn to live with them."

I've never seen him so expressive before.

"But you're his son. Surely you can point out the error in his ways to him." I say and he chuckles.

"You talk like you've never met him."

"Why is he like this? Why is he so full of hate?"

"He's just been through a lot Mia."

We all have. That should never excuse someone for being an asshole.

"I'm sorry he's treated you so terrible. You have to promise me to never take it to the head." He looks into my eyes and I find myself drowning a bit in his. Probably because of this wine I've been downing.

"Tell me about your childhood." I might as well since he's being so open.

He smiles. Like a real genuine smile and I can't help but mimic him.

"What?" I then ask.

"You always do this."

"Do what?"

"Try to figure me out. I'm too complicated for your understanding Mia, just accept it." He says letting his eyes leave mine to now stare at something else.

"Is that what you tell yourself?"

He looks back at me again then,

"I'm not someone you should ever try to get to know. You should honestly get as far away as you can from me Mia." He chuckles when he says that but I have a feeling he's not joking.

"Why?"

He doesn't answer me. He instead stands up to go pour himself a glass of wine. It's his first one, unlike me.

He returns not too long after to have a seat next to me. And then,

"Are you really over him like you say?" He's redirecting. I let him.

But his question has me really thinking. I'm pretty sure I was over him just yesterday. I don't know if the new found information changes that so,

"I don't know."

"How does knowing how he possibly feels for you make you feel?" The question surprises me. Only because it's asked by Jake.

At first I felt a weird tingly sensation at the thought of the person I'd been in love with almost all my life feeling the same way about me. But then there was a bit of anger in the fact that he'd let me believe I was imagining my feelings all those years, only to turn around and reciprocate them. But now,

"It makes me feel confused. Conflicted."

I find myself re-welcoming the images of myself with him. But at the same time, I want him to stay with Meghan. She loves him a lot.

I could see the hurt in her eyes when she'd told me that Tristan was in love with me. It looked like that was something she too was struggling with, my heart breaks for her. I can't imagine what I would do if I found out the love of my life was in love with someone else. Well.. I guess we know what I would do.

She told me she'll understand if I wanted to pursue something with him. That only broke me more.

"I think I need to talk to Tristan."
I then say.

"I think so too."

We then continue mindlessly chatting and sipping on wine throughout the night.

The following day I'd decided to text Tristan in the morning to tell him we should meet up. He'd made up an excuse at first but finally accepted when I told him it was important.

"Are you avoiding me?"

I say as we sit at our favorite coffee shop. We'd spoken about stupid and unimportant things before I finally decided to get to the reason I wanted to meet him.

He almost answers but,

"Meg told me."
I ignore the confused look on his face at my revelation. And then,

"You also told me a few days ago that she claimed you were in love with me. That's a lie right?"

I don't know weather or not I want it to be.

He pauses for a bit before,

"It's not a lie." That's all he says.

We then sit just looking at each other. The man I've been crazy about all my life, the man my whole entire existence revolved around, the man I love more than anything, he loves me back. But is it too late?

Or is it that I really just don't feel the same anymore?

Childhood me would be jumping with the utmost joy right now, childhood me would've given anything and everything to hear him say that. But grown up me says,

"Meg..."

It's not even just about Meghan I'm realizing.

"I know..."

He holds my hand and I hold his too as we stare into each other's eyes. It's like we both know that for various reasons, it just wouldn't work out. So,

"Friends forever?"

I survived being in love with him all those years without him feeling the same way. I'm sure he will too.

"Friends forever." He replies with a smile that I happily return.