Julie and the phantoms visuals, imagines and preferences

•Miscarriage - Alex Mercer•

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TW - if you aren't comfortable reading about miscarriages please don't read this, there aren't any majorly graphic scenes but just in case

Your Pov (you're 20)

I was so exited to find out that I was pregnant. It was about a month after my wedding when I found out. I told my best friend - Alex right away and obviously he was also very exited for me to bring another little me into the world.

Later that week, we told the boys and their reactions were too funny.

Reggie had a huge smile spread across his face because I knew he wanted to be an uncle so bad.

Luke litrally jumped at Alex while squeeling like a five year old on Christmas Day.

And Bobby just started mumbling on what he would do if it was a boy or a girl and how he would spoil them rotten.

Overall, every one was pretty exited, so when I lost the baby everything seemed to change from that point on. The devastation and sadnedd that Alex started to feel after it happened, seemed to engulf his life. Eventually it started to affect the band, it got bad but really, who could blame him?

~~~~~~~~~~~~flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a normal Saturday evening, Alex was at the studio with the boys while they were finalizing some new songs to be on the album, as well as planning out release dates and events surrounding the album.

I was alone in my two story house, sitting upstairs watching TV when I heard a crash coming from downstairs. I ran into the bathroom , locked the door and called 911. If there was an intruder, I wouldn't want to put myself or the baby in harms way, so I tried to choose the safest option.

Then I called Alex

(A= Alex Y= you )

A- hey, chickie. how's it going?

Y- Alex, I think there's someone in the house right now.

A - what? Are you okay? Did you call the police yet? Bobby! Call the cops.

Just as Alex finished his sentence, I heard someone walk into our bedroom. Their heavy boots pounded on the floor. With every step they took, my heart seemed to beat a little bit faster.

I started crying softly as the weighted steps got closer to the bathroom that I was in. The person stood right outside the door. I had to hold my hand in front of my mouth so no noise would come out, but unfortunately some of my noises that I was making -due to my crying- just couldn't be silenced. I quietly climbed into the shower, so if there was a gunshot or something potentially dangerous coming through the door I would be out of harms way. After a few seconds - even though it felt like hours - I heard the heavy boots retaliate away from the bathroom. In hopes that I could get out of the house quickly and quietly, I walked toward the door, for a few seconds I heard nothing.

But soon the stomping came back, but this time it was quicker and approaching a lot more rapid then it had before. As I stepped away from the door - not caring about the noise level anymore - I closed my eyes and waited for the cracks of the door being broken down.

When the door finally cracked open, it fell over with a bang. Luckily for me, the weight that the intruder put on the door caused them to also be knocked down for a few seconds, which is when I made my attempted escape.

I quickly ran past the trespasser, and tried to make my way downstairs, and to my neighbors house before they could get up and catch me.

Unfortunately, being pregnant and running down the stairs isn't a good match. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of getting out as quickly as I could. That was until I had a hand pull me from the back, which caused me to fall down the stairs. All I know is that those last few seconds of consciousness that I had, were the most painful in my life. Before I knew it, I was out cold.

~~~~~

I woke up in a clean, white hospital room. I looked out the window, and saw my partner talking to a doctor, and when I looked around the room I was in, I was faced with Alex staring intensely at me.

"What happened?" I ask him.

He sniffles and then answers.

"You were running from the person who was in the house. He grabbed you from the back and basically pushed you down the stairs." he explains

"The baby?" I ask

"She's gone." Alex whispers while taking my hand in his own.

"She?" I say

"Yeah, turns out you were having a girl." He tries his best to smile but fails almost instantly.

I look down at my stomach and see that it looks the same as it did yesterday, but I can just tell that something is missing.

"I really did loose her didn't I?" I ask again out of pure shock.

He just slowly nods.

I can't help but let my mind wonder of the list of people I let down, because of what happened. The main person that I let down, would have to be Alex. I knew how excited he was to be an uncle/godfather, and I just completely ruined it.

"I'm so sorry, I let you down Alex, I shouldn't have run." I sob.

"No, don't you dare blame yourself for this. The only one to blame for this, is the person who broke into your house. And the running was something that you needed to do, if you didn't, things could've ended up a lot worse for everyone. Even if you lost the baby, I'm glad I didn't loose you too. I promise we'll get through his together." he says with a sad smile.

"Hey, I know things may seem really shitty right now, which they are, but eventually they will get better. Whenever you're ready, you can try again, but until then I'm here to help you through this."

"Thank you"

That was the moment that I knew, I picked the right best friend for me. I knew that no matter how many challenges we were gonna face in our friendship, we would always get through it together. That's all I could ever ask for.