Historia. | Kuroo Tetsuro

08

Life is pretty harsh now, isn't it? The more we grow into an adult, and be exposed to the outside world; we're just learning things and our innocence is the price for it. When we learn new facts about the world and how it truly is, it somehow becomes more intimidating than we expect. I used to not fear it, but it happened to me, and now I'm a wreck.

I've been trying to get better grades these days. Ever since I've heard rumors about my past spread all over the school, I just couldn't get myself to work harder. I was scared that even my studies, grades, and hard work would also be rumored to be all just because I'm using someone to do my works for me. I was too frightened by the many possibilities that were in my head.

School has been very hard, well I can say that it's partly my fault, or maybe it fully is. I'm not certain of anything, nor can I be uncertain. I can't turn a blind eye on the truth that was revealed and present right before me. It was clearly to ruin my relationship with people, and with myself. I don't trust anyone, not even me.

With school suddenly just throwing things at us to finish--they said requirements for us to graduate. I don't know about that but it's not like I can just escape from it. I've asked for helped from the teachers but no matter what I do, their explanations were too difficult for me. I couldn't ask them again, I'm too scared that they might yell at me for being an idiot.

I used to be a good student. An honoree, good grades, excellent essays and quizzes. Now, I'm just a regular high school student. A normal person. Average--lower than average. Nothing changes the fact that I am far different from the me I used to be. I don't even remember how I was back then before everything happened. 

Having difficulties with school isn't weird, right? I'm clearly not the only one who's struggling to keep myself going, and from putting my head lower than I already have. I'm stuck, that's my problem. I am stuck with the Math problem that was given to us as a homework, I forgot about it. The teacher was pretty kind and understanding, I'll be passing it tomorrow. I will get 5 minus points for being tardy though.

I click my pen, staring at the Math problem. Descartes' rule of signs.. that's the easiest part but the rest is really making my head ache. When will I finish this? It's already 10 PM. I have to sleep soon but I'm not yet over this. I'm already barely holding on, our finals are coming next week too. What the heck should I do???

"You look like you're stuck with something." I look at Kuroo-san, finding him standing by the door with a towel on his shoulders, using it to dry his hair. I ignore him, and continue to stare at my lifeless paper.

I command you, my pen, to write the answers down on the paper in front of me! Yeah, like that would work. What am I? A five year-old? I groan, taking my pen and click on it again. "H-Hey, w-what are you doing?" 

Kuroo-san's face is right beside mine. His hand holding onto the backrest of my chair, and the other held the paper. "Use synthetic division." He simply says, taking my pen from my hand, using it to point at the inverted(?) letter 'L' on my paper. "It's like the division house, but upside down."

"I know what synthetic division is.. I just don't know how.." I say, looking away to hide my embarrassed face. Math is my weakness, and English or Modern Literature is my forte.