Historia. | Kuroo Tetsuro

07

trigger warning: mention of suicide and self-harm.

I don't clearly remember what happened but I did hear the two of them arguing. Kokoro was saying things about Kuroo-san avoiding and ignoring her calls, not texting back and leaving her on read. All I did was cry on the couch.

The Kokoro I saw wasn't the same Kokoro from middle school. She was wearing makeup, and she's looked a bit more mature than before. She also never swears but then, the moment she saw Kuroo-san try to pull me away she just swore at me. I don't even know—I didn't even knew that she was his girlfriend.

Kuroo-san was yelling too, and it was scary. I wasn't even the one being yelled at and yet, I was scared. Thinking that the nice Kuroo-san that took me to see the city, is the same Kuroo-san that yelled at his girlfriend. He threw some pretty harsh words too, he even swore as well. I'm scared.. I don't know why.

If I can remember correctly then he clearly said, "Can you just fuck off?! Why can't you just leave me right now? I told you already! Nana took her in and she's now living with us! Don't you even understand that?!"

I truly did have my hopes up, I let my guard down. When I thought that I could continue writing my story, my pen just fell out of my hand and ruined the whole page I was in. He made it clear that he was only taking care of me because of his grandmother. He didn't want her to worry, it might stress her out and she might pass away.. it's for her.

I was nothing from the start.

I think—I took the bandages off my arms and scratched my cuts open, and I bled again. I bled more than when I cut them. I tried suffocating myself, and hitting myself to feel satisfied. I wanted to be a human punching-bag for myself. I needed to let loose, my desires of hurting myself just grew that day. I couldn't even think of living anymore.

They said I fell unconscious and nearly died out of lack of blood. I woke up and found myself on a hospital bed, a dextrose in my hand with blood being transmitted into my system. I even had a mask on but I immediately asked Kuroo-san (his father) to get it off me. It felt like I was going to live, I didn't want it.

"Do you feel better?" I shrug, playing with my fingers with my eyes glues onto them. He placed a palm on my forehead, sighing as he sat back on the chair. "You're still burning, it's been a whole day since we sent you here." Why did you bring me here?

I clench my fist, feeling my nails dig into my skin. I don't have sharp nails right now but it's enough for me to feel a bit of pain. I just watched Kuroo-san do whatever he needed to do. He left the room quite a few times, and the last time he got back, the doctor came in.

I was informed to finish at least three and a half bags of blood. They found out that I was immensely anemic, and even told me that I was really pale when they sent me here. They said that my color complexion almost vanished, and I almost turned gray.. or something like that. I keep asking myself why they even let me live.

With my fever still on, I had trouble moving around. A simple change in my position made me dizzy and sick. The needle in my hand also felt very uncomfortable, but I liked it. I like uncomfortable at the moment, I can turn this bed into my deathbed. I don't want to continue seeing the light when all I see is just black and white.

"(Y/n), I know I probably shouldn't pry into this since it's the most sensitive type of topic for you but.." I turn to him, my eyes half-open. My eyes are in pain. "Did Tetsuro do anything to you?" He...

"No, he hasn't done anything.... it's my fault.. that I'm on this bed right now." I give him a smile, holding my head when I felt it bang. I close my eyes and cover them with the pillow.