Historia. | Kuroo Tetsuro

16

He let me go, keeping his hand on my cheek and his arm around my waist. He meant it that way.. "(Y/n).. I like you, not as a friend... but—"

"K-Kuroo.. this isn't.." I step away, my knees shaking from the sudden kiss. I don't know how to react to this. "K-Kuroo.. I..." Why.. did the feeling.. fade..? "I'm.."

"I'm serious, (Y/n). I really like you." I shake my head, hearing his breath hitch as I just stared at him. "(Y/n).." The feeling... faded..

I push him out of the way, my hands trembling and unable to open the door. Just fucking turn you stupid doorknob! After a few tries, I finally got the knob to turn and I ran back to the gym. Everything was all so sudden.. it was too sudden.. he's making things very uncomfortable between us.. I only had him, but that was.. it was too much.. I can't breathe.. it's so hard to breathe. I can't process everything at once..

Everyone's around so I had to gain composure. I went to the restroom first before heading back to the gym, locking myself inside the cubicle to cry it all out. I don't have anyone to lean on right now. The only one that I could lean on.. made me uncomfortable. He rushed things too much.. He didn't wait.. I don't like things that way! Everything.. the want of having him around me, the feeling of wanting him to care for me, to take care of me.. everything.. all of those feelings of pain and jealousy, like.. all of them faded when he kissed me. I didn't expect that to happen.. I didn't expect anything to happen!

Why did I run away? Why couldn't I answer him properly? Right when these days.. I was telling myself that I wanted to have someone to love me, to have someone I could tell my everything to. When I feel down, I wished that it could be him to cheer me up.. to make me smile and make me cry in all sorts of events. I had the feeling of accepting him, but.. it vanished. The moment our lips touched, I wanted to run away. I wanted to cry. It didn't feel anything special to me.. he didn't feel anything special.. he felt like nothing to me.

I don't want to face him right now. I don't want to be around him right now.. I don't want to even hear his voice or see his face... or even just hear his name. I felt really uncomfortable when he kissed me. It didn't feel right. It felt as if.... he was kissing someone else, like he wasn't looking at me. His eyes and his focus weren't on me, it was on someone more special to him. Someone he really wants to be with for the rest of his life.. I was the one who he kissed, but it didn't feel like he kissed me at all. I felt as if like I was a wall, nothing but an image. There's someone else in his heart.. and that's why, I'm scared to take the risk.

He said he liked me, but, is it really me?

I headed back to the gym, meeting Yamamoto by the door. "Oi." I look at him with raised brows, feeling like I need to cry more. "What happened to you and Kuroo-san?" I turn away from him, but he grabs my forearm and forces me to stay. "That," he points to Kuroo, "that face? That's the face that only you can make." I look at the bedhead, and his expression is rather too complex to decipher.

"Things just.." I bite my bottom lip and force a smile, a tear rolling down my cheek. "Do you love Honami?" I ask and he raises a brow at me, humming and playing with his lips as he thought about it. "Do you feel.. scared? That.. she might not be actually looking at you, but at the image in their head." I bite my lip, my tears just flowing from my eyes now.

"I do love my girlfriend, of course I do, and that means... being scared is a part of it." He answers, and I look at him when he pat my head. "So? Do you love your boyfriend?"

"We're not together.." I cry more, feeling my chest tighten from what he said. "We're not... together... why does everyone say that?" He sighs and hands me a towel. "This is Kuroo's.." He nods and takes my hand for me to take the towel.