A Thousand Moments

Special Chapter 8

Trigger Warning

Astrid Summer Flores

As soon as we arrived home, I hurriedly entered the door, though I knew he'd be waiting there, I still felt as if a jolt of electricity had struck my chest. I looked at him, pale, dumbfounded, surprised. I looked at my dad. Dad. A father, my father, or at least he used to be. He was standing in front of me, after years of avoiding we finally came to this, him, mom and me.

"Don't look so surprised" said dad

Years of absolute abandonment yet those were his first words

"Hi d-dad" I stuttered as I try to find words to say

"Go to your room, I have to talk to your father" mother asked staring intently at dad

I walked to my room and closed the door behind me. For a short while, as I snap myself back to reality, I laid my back against the cold wooden door, slowly I sat down on the floor. Emotions were building up inside me, yet I don't know what to do. I sat quietly trying to make sense of the noise I am hearing outside. Mom and dad are shouting at each other yet I felt relief, it was better than confronting the deafening silence this house holds. I felt happy that at least once more we were back together, unconciously my lips curved upwards yet tears fell from my eyes, mom and dad, finally.

"Take your daughter with you" said mom

"It's not only you who needs healing" she added, I could tell she was annoyed, just the sight of dad angered her

"We had a deal, she stays with you" he answered

A sudden pang had opened an old wound from my past, both my parents doesn't want me

"I can't keep seeing her Arthur, I hate having having these thoughts that it was her fault, she was just a kid" mom cried

"I hate that everytime I see her, I'm furious, I want to embrace her, yet somehow just one glance is enough to bring back such terrible memory and push me to the edge" mom continued

"I love our daughter, but it's my mind that I keep battling, I hate that I couldn't be a good mother so I thought that maybe some time away from her would fix this" mom sniffled as her cries got louder

"Losing Terrence... losing a child is a parent's worst nightmare, I wasn't able to forget all these years and yet you're passing her on to me, do you think I'd want to look at her and just think how much I blame her, us?" Dad replied

"I hate having to put everything that happened on her shoulders but my mind fails to do so" dad continued as he started to sob

Just before silence radiated around us, I opened the door.

"Dad, can I stay with you for a while?" I asked him, I knew I'd be lying to myself if I'd say that, I'm not going with dad nor am I staying with mom. Once I leave, I hope they'd find forgiveness and peace

"But I only have one condition" I added as I felt a lump in my throat

"Let me stay with Alanna for a month" I added

"Sure, but there is no way in hell I'd accept what you both have" mom replied as she wiped her tears and furrowed her eyebrows