A Thousand Moments

Special Chapter 7

Astrid Summer Flores

As the time of dawn came to begin, Alanna woke me up. I recalled her telling me we were going somewhere today, and I also was to meet someone. A few minutes of preparation had gone by and we finally decided to head our way, little Ash rode with me and Alanna, I've grown close to her and loved her as if she was my own blood, she was also fond of me as she told us that I was her favorite, something I am immensely proud of. As the roads stretched far beyond I came to realize where we were headed, it was the cemetery. As we came to a stop, I carried Ash and walked towards the picnic blanket already laid out by Alanna's dad and sister. Alanna introduced me to her mom as if she's casually talking to her grave, I found it sweet how she talked as if she'd always been there, that it doesn't matter whether you're physically there, but just the thought, the sound of the heart, it was enough to make you feel their presence.

Seeing Alanna, it made me perceive a possible future I am well-aware of happening, once the monsters inside me finally wins. What if I were to die before her, would she talk to my grave as if I was beside her? Would she tell me stories about her life and so much more? Death for me isn't the opposite of life, it's part of it, so I guess dying isn't even an option, it's a destination we were meant to arrive at someday.

Hours passed by like seconds as we enjoy every moment together, laughs and music filled the place as if the once caliginous place was suddenly illuminated. I took out my phone and captured a moment of still, and blissful memory.

729th.

Them.

Soon after, we decided to head to town where Alanna would take us to a small Japanese noodle house, there we were introduced to Michiko, the owner of the place, she's also one of the people who had close ties with Alanna's family. We enjoyed a small meal together as they reminisce memories Alanna had forgotten, it was magical to see how their faces would light up at moments in their life that once made them happy, I was oblivious to that emotion, my memories are dominated with terrible ones, the kind I want to forget, the kind of memories which entangled even the happy ones with crestfallen sentiments. I smiled at the adverse thoughts in my head which became harder and harder to get rid of as days passed.

I took my phone out and secretly took a photo of the happy family in front of me. I looked at the picture and I could see how wide their smiles are, how their eyes shows happiness, I long for moments like this too, but I doubt it will ever happen.

730th.

I wish I had.

I'm at my 730th moment, I wonder how many moments Alanna had counted, the thought sent pain to my heart, as if it was being crushed. I knew someday I'd have to let her go, but I don't think I can. I guess I've got a problem, I've fallen deeper than I planned to, I can't let her go. Not yet.

Finally it was time to go, we parted ways with Mr. Bauer, Amarra, and Ash who went home early. Alanna took me to another spot, which was a bit of a surprise to me. She took me to the beach that we found during our little getaway. I stared at Alanna, God she's perfect, He did take His time making her. My mind is a mess, I hate having to think of letting her go, I don't want to, I want her to stay. It's as if I had interlaced her heart and mine and once I lose my half, I'd forever be broken.

I immediately stepped out of the car and ran to the shore.

"Haven't I persuaded you yet?" I asked and I could tell I caught her off-guard

"I know it's not for me to decide but will you please stay even after the thousandth moment?" I continued, she couldn't speak a word as she looked at the tears building up in my eyes