wander

4|first time flights

As I shut the taxi door, my nerves finally hit me. What if this was a set up. What if Mom was just on the other end. What if it wasn't real. I need this to be real. I can't live with my monster of a mother any more. I'm already too broken from her words... anymore? and I don't know where'll I'll end up.

A ticket pinged in my email notifications. Bloody hell. First class! I think to myself. My father is definitely someone out there in Italy.

My flights not for a good hour so after security and all that I decide to wonder around and maybe look for a welcome gift since he's doing all this for me I have to do something nice back. I walk in circles around a one shop; aimlessly thinking what he'd like, sounding as if he already has the world right in front of him. He probably does. Let's be real.

I end up picking out a vase hoping to find some flowers in Italy to keep them safe there. It wasn't much but I didn't know what my Dad would like. Decor items worked I guess?

I found a subway and just decided in the moment to get a meatball sub. I had never had subway so I guess it was time to try some new things seeing as I was basically starting a new life. New me. I'd keep my name, of course. It was the one thing my Mother blessed me with. And my father too, I presume.

Time flies by fast and it's time to get the flight. I hadn't really known where to go and ended up following this woman in front of me, she looks in her twenties, so I just guessed she was the most trustworthy person around here.

We ended up talking about why we were going to Italy and I just said family. I didn't want to bore her with my life story. She had a really good reason to go there, unlike me. She worked in Italy, she told me. What a great job. A summer tan. The atmosphere. My god she was lucky.

We carried on with the simple chat about life. You know, the weather, school, future. Nothing special. Just small talk to be kind. I caught the girls name. Rose. She smiled sweetly as she said it. What a beautiful name. It matched her perfectly too.

I boarded my flight and sat in my seat. I was pretty anxious about this. Getting on a plane, alone. For the first time. It wasn't ideal. But I had to challenge myself. The new me. The new me takes risks and accepts the challenges.

"I can do this!" I muttered to myself after a few deep breaths. I knew I could do it. I wasn't stupid. I wasn't a stupid girl anymore. I guess I was a woman. A strong and powerful woman.

The flight took off and I watched out the window. We were so high. I could see the whole city up here. It was beautiful. But I also held a tight grudge against it, knowing it wasn't me anymore. It was past Chiara. Italy is the new Chi. I decided to keep my fathers nickname of Chi. It was fresh. I needed it.

I sipped on some lemonade as I read some of the little magazine booklets you find on the flight. Overpriced items of course. I didn't see much that I wanted from it so just flipped the page in curiosity.

I have no idea how long until I land. I hope it's soon I'm pretty tired off this plane.