What They Deserve

FORTY

He hadn't made any plans on when he was going to propose to Bailey. He only knew that he would. He'd gotten the ring a few weeks ago, even before her birthday. But for some reason, he wasn't sure when would be the right time. Something told him to take the ring with him. Being there with her, seeing the way she admired the beauty around them, he decided that the setting was perfect. He could only hope that in his moment of spontaneity, she’d say yes.
         
And now she refused to take the ring off until it was safely in the hands of a jeweler to be resized. He caught her glancing at it every few minutes with a soft smile on her face. Even though she was excited, she didn't update her relationship status on her social media networks yet.

"Why not?" He chuckled, sure that she would have done that before they even left the hotel.

"This isn't something I want the people closest to me to find out about on social media!" The look she gave him implied that he was crazy. "You do this in person."
         
He found this touching and he was even relieved. There were some habits he just couldn't break; no matter how safe he felt with Bailey, his past had to stay hidden by any means necessary. If that meant staying behind the camera, so to speak, he would.
          
They talked about finding a small house for their first home together; something that would be great for just the two of them and possibly a baby in a few years. Bailey liked the idea of exchanging their vows where they'd gotten engaged. She said it made it more romantic. And she absolutely loved the park. 
          
She suggested possible color schemes, different varieties of flowers, even dish options for the reception. Her face was red from exertion as she talked without taking a breath.
          
When they got back to Bailey's place, he grabbed her bag and placed it next to her laundry room as she instructed. He slumped onto the couch and turned on the television, cringing at the scene of a reporter standing in front of Houghman and Rye's, the massive building he recognized well from stalking his two latest victims. The image set his heart pounding in his chest.
          
"What the hell are you up to? Call me!" He heard Bailey in the kitchen, calling Sasha. A few cabinets banged as she rummaged around for something.
          
But his attention was focused on the news report, his breath trapped in his throat. The reporter was talking about the link between Willow Mayes' death and the disappearance of her best friend, April Wooten. The police were sure they were connected and it was only a matter of time before they would find April. They could only hope that she was still alive. 
          
Before Bailey heard any of it, he turned the channel. He was relieved that they hadn't found anything. And he hoped that it stayed that way. It had to.
          
"What was that?" Bailey flopped down on the other end with a bowl of chips in her hands.
          
"Stupid show. Wanna watch a movie?" He shrugged as if it didn’t matter, already opening her Hulu menu. With controlled movements, he placed the remote in between them after he picked something and settled back.
          
"Sure." He didn't catch the weird look she gave him before she leaned back and kicked up her feet. He didn't seem to notice that she made no move to cuddle against him, leaving the void between them.
          
He couldn't concentrate on the movie. The building kept popping up in his mind. He kept envisioning scenes of Willow and Raven entering or leaving through the oversized doors. These thoughts led to his memories of preparing to punish them. Memories of what he did, what he saw, and how he finished things. He kept replaying everything over and over, trying to think of any possible way the police would be able to link him to the two women.
         
They ended up falling asleep toward the end of their movie, but it was far from peaceful for him.
          
He jerked and moaned as his deepest fears manifested into nightmares. The last one had him cry out and sit up, his breathing ragged. Sweat rolled down his face and back, causing him to shiver. 
          
The image of all the women he'd punished over the years, torturing him, was still vivid. He gripped his left forearm where a ghost pain troubled him. He looked down to be sure that his skin was still intact, unlike in the nightmare where bloody muscle had been exposed.
          
After verifying that he was whole, he looked over to see Bailey curled up against the arm of the couch. He stood and grabbed the throw from the floor. Between the two of them, they'd kicked it off of the couch. He covered her before going to the kitchen.
          
His hands shook as he grabbed a glass and filled it with water from the fridge. He felt like his life was starting to unravel, all because of a stupid news story.
          
He tried to remind himself that the police had no clues and they wouldn't find anything. He'd been careful. He always was.
          
But there was a nagging feeling that he couldn't shake. 
          
And it didn't help that he hadn't planned out Sasha's punishment. She had been an impulse. Even though she had revealed her true colors and had it coming to her, she had been a mistake. 
          
He sighed before downing the rest of the water. He narrowed his eyes as he focused on a picture across the room that he couldn't even see; but he knew it was of Sasha. 
          
Are you why I feel this way? Are you why I'm so nervous? 
          
She had to be.  
          
He placed the glass in the sink and made his way out of Bailey's house, making sure to lock up. There was only one thing he could think of doing to help himself feel better. So he went to his place and put on clothes to go for a jog.
          
The music blasted in his ears as his feet pounded the ground. His thoughts raced around in his head, jumbling together even more, making no sense. 
          
The constant worry he was becoming accustomed to feeling, began to turn into rage. He didn't know what to do about it. All he knew was that he had never felt so out of control in his life and he did not like it at all.