I Am Myself (Frans)

Chapter Twenty One

The dim blue lights would have been so calming.
The quiet splashing of water would have been so calming.
The distance from all the people would have been so calming.
The comfotrably chill, soft, fresh breeze would have also been so calming.

Exept nothing could calm me down now.

I sat by the water, my face in my hands. My breathing was shallow, uneven and fast. My eyes, hidden behind my fingers, darting around in the darkness.
My thoughts scattered and panicked.

When Sans got us here, my brain started working on what had happened. It decided I was a safety hazard to everyone, including my boyfriend.

My first thought was, that I could stay here. I tried to tell him I needed some time alone. If he left me, I would have found a way to block the entrance to the Underground. I would stay here, where Chara couldn't hurt anyone. Only Asriel stayed and he would now most probably be Flowey again. A fitting partner.

Sans said he would not leave me alone now. He wanted to stay here with me. With an unstable murderer.

That word hit me like a truck. I freaked out and told him to at least stay away from me to be a bit safer. More like I yelled it at him. He could see I was spiralling into desperation but he also realized pushing me wouldn't work today. He sat down by a tree and watched my every move.

Now I was sitting by the water, all tears already cried out, hardly able to breathe from thinking about what I did and what I could have done to...

I saw no way out of this situation. I just simply couldn't bare to think someone was dead because of me no matter who they were. I couldn't reset for Sans and I knew it wouldn't matter anyway. It's not like Chara is going anywhere. I could not go back to my friends, my family when they know who I am, when I know who I am.

I was at my witts end. I might have been going crazy at that point.

That's when I felt a presence in me. For once Chara saved me from my coming craziness by distracting me from my frantic thoughts. I got up.

"Well, look who woke up." I said outloud in a grim voice.

"wha-..." Sans furrowed his boney brow, looking at me confused. His face quickly cleared out and changed to anger. "chara."

I waved my hand at him, telling him to stay there and let me talk. He didn't look happy about that but he listened.

What... I... they sounded tired and surprised. I didn't blame them, it was the first time they didn't have to fight for control. I wanted to have a little chat, so I let them in for a bit.

"Hello there, murderer. I hope you're happy now." I didn't even bother speaking quietly to them. My voice was stern and emotionless and I started pacing around the edge of the water.

F-frisk, I-...

I didn't let them finish.

"Yeah, don't even bother. You were protecting me from all the horrible killers all around, right?"

I didn't-

"Oh how courageous you are! Thank you for NOTHING!"

Frisk-!

"Tell me, what am I supposed to do now, huh? I can't let you just kill everyone but now I can't even to back to them myself!"

Listen to me-!

"How about I don't! I think I've had enough of your-!"

"LISTEN TO ME!!"

I stopped in my tracks.