I am writing this to you as a way to help myself. I don't know you, but I feel you will get to know me over the next little while. First I want to introduce myself. I am... Well actually I won't tell you my name right now. Not until we get to know one another better.
I am a girl. Let's start with that. I am a girl. That is simple, and not very informative. Guys never do this kind of thing... Or it seem like they never do. I am in High School. Well that narrows it down to girls that are under 18. Can you guess who I am? I don't think so.
I feel like I am playing with your mind. I feel like I am telling you just a bit about me, but not enough to let you get a feel of who I am. That might be because I'm scared.
I said it. Well, I wrote it. I. Am. Scared.
That, my friend, is a better starting point. I am scared of many things. Spiders. Being alone outside at night. I am kind of scared of my pet snake, but that is another story.
But right now my biggest fear is of going to sleep.
Not because of the sleeping itself, but because of what I am afraid every new day will bring. I am afraid of what I will find if I let my self let go.
My life has held so much uncertainty. I'm sure yours has too. But mine... It is driving me to points I never want to think about going to. And no. Before you ask, no. I am not talking about suicide.
I am talking about a point where my mind jumps off the deep end, and I become loopier than a super long ramen noodle.
So for now, you know what my biggest fears are, sleep, and uncertainty.
My question for now is this: How is one supposed to live being afraid of sleep?
It takes me a long time to fall asleep every night, and it takes me an even longer amount of time to get to where I could dream. Oh what it would be like to dream again. Lately all I have are nightmares.
You are probably thoroughly lost by now. I have lost track of where I was going. But then again, I lost track of my life at some point way before now.
There is so much to tell you, and so many places I could start. I don't even know where the beginning is, so I can't start there. So I guess I'll just throw you in, and if you have questions, ask.
I can't promise you answers though.
YOU ARE READING
Insanity In Sanity
General FictionMany would say they are insane, just as a joke. But I don't. Possibly because my sister is insane. But this isn't her story, it's mine. My story of my life. A life controlled by false memories, fake accusations, and reluctant arrests. A life I somet...
