rogue avengers return │ peter parker¹

．Ｔｈｅｒａｐｙ．

⚠Important A/N at the end!⚠ Word Count: 989

There are so many ways to push away your feelings.

In a job like the Avengers, using ignorance to push them away can cost you your life.

Y/N never liked talking about her feelings or even acknowledging them, but her job forced her to. Being 15 and having one of the toughest jobs in the world took a toll on a person, it cost her the childhood everyone had/wanted. 

S.H.I.E.L.D. took her parents and her life away from her, and she never wanted to see them again. However, her powers started showing the day she found out about her parents. What a shit show.

"Agent Y/L/N do you want to talk about what happened?"

"That is what therapy is for, right?" She smiled but there wasn't even a hint of joy in it.

Heather Brockway, S.H.I.E.L.D.'s designated therapist, raised her eyebrow and noted something in her notebook.

"You have been through a lot and I see you doing great but you are avoiding conversation. It is not a good way of dealing with a traumatic experience."

Y/N gazed outside the window. The sun slowly started to set.

"Are you ready?" Heather shifted slightly in her seat.

"Yes."

She started playing with the bottom of her skirt. The hem was fraying.

"Rogers isn't really special." Y/N picked the subject again. "Heart-throb, Full of him self, always trying to sacrifice himself for the 'greater good.'"

"But you still call him the problem?"

"Believe me, he has always been one."

Heather nodded. "Please, continue."

"I've done my best to take care of Tony after what happened, but what happens if suddenly I can't."

"What happened the day you found out about his condition?"

"I was still at a S.H.I.E.L.D. safe house, hiding away from everyone except for Tony and Nat. Fury called and told me it was urgent, so I rushed to the compound hoping to be comforted by someone I trusted." Y/N cleared her throat. "Turns out the one person I trusted to be their for me when Fury and Tony weren't, betrayed my family."

"What happened next? "

She slowly started to develop a headache.

"I found out that dad was missing, possibly somewhere in Siberia."

" But then you fainted."

" That is correct. I was in shock from the news, luckily I was caught before I hit the ground." Y/N said smiling dryly. 

" Who caught you? Director Fury?"

" No, Peter. He managed to catch me as soon as he saw me swaying. I woke up a few hours later, on the couch."

" So you maybe thought he was cute?" Heather stood up and approached the coffee machine.

"He was shy and, of course, cute. He liked to make sure I was okay, even though I woke up completely fine. He could have left me on that couch alone, but he stayed with me through those couple of hours."

"Shy but forward?" Heather opened the cupboard above her head. She took two cups and set them on the counter.

" Something like that. I mean, he never left my side. He wanted to make sure I was okay, but I wasn't until he was there."

Y/N continued.

"I didn't like him at first. He rambled on and on about stuff I didn't feel like listening to at that moment. I swear Parker just knew when I had a headache so he could come bother me. I couldn't understand half of what he said, but he kept me alive."

Y/N were avoiding Heather's eyes which was not usual for her. She valued eye contact because it made her feel like she had control over the situation, especially conversations with people that were older then her.

Y/N shifted the topic back to the reason she was there, Steve.

That day she stared into the Roger's cold, dead-like eyes but it didn't bring any sense of comfort or control.

" I don't know what exactly he saw when I walked up to him. There were no signs that he felt any type of fear."

"He found you weak?"

"Something like that."

"I wasn't really surprised. Rogers is very passionate about his legacy. The amount of times he dismissed as a little girl who doesn't know shit. The man who made everyone look at him as very strong, that's why he never breaks in front of his teammates. The way he never listens to me."

"In the end, you're grateful you can help people still." Heather smiled gently.

"Exactly." Y/N started playing with her ring rotating it around her finger.

She looked around for a bit, then got back to Peter.

"Peter and I went out one night, not on a date, but to save people."

Heather nodded, singling her to go on.

"We ran into a gang, we were so close to finishing them when a pistol was pressed against my temple. And then..."

"And then what?" Heather pressed on. 

"The man asked Parker if he would die for me. He said he would but that didn't matter. I quickly disarmed the man and we kept going. Our system was working."

"System?" Heather was clearly confused.

"We had a deal that we followed thoroughly. Never to talk about what happened after the suits came off. But I never did forget his answer, and I don't think I ever will."

"The opportunity has revealed itself quite quickly." Y/N smiled and shifted in her seat. "I thought I would ask him out that night. We had to keep our hero and personal lives separate though. It was quite mature of us. But all I wanted to do was kiss him."

A/N: this sort of just spilled onto my paper during class, i should've been paying attention but whatever. i've updated a lot recently but don't expect me to continue like this. though i will try to update every week! it's my birthday tomorrow and im finally turning 15!🥳🎉🎂 so thankful for all of you and i am so surprised with how many votes i have gotten! xoxo sam💖