--Bridges--

o v e r ▪43▪

We accept the love we think we deserve.
~Stephen Chobsky • The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

We overthinkers overdo everything.
Over - feel
Over - care
Over - love

We will care for you in ways you won't even notice, be it replying to your texts the moment we pick up our phone, observing from a distance and letting that topic drop cause you weren't comfortable, never complaining cause we have trained ourselves to adjust, being guilty for doing stuff that hurt you even though we are aware it wasn't essentially wrongly meant but just wrongly recieved. We'd make excuses for you when you don't even feel the need to give us any.

The worst part is when we expect it in return.
When we expect you to care in the same way, scratch that, to care in a similar way.
We will trample you with our expections that seem unrealistic, but maybe you'll never notice that we just want to be treated by our standards.

And you tell us we need to lower our expectations according to the person, that we get our brains whizzing at the smallest of stuff, that we over react and we are pressuring you.
Put yourself in our shoes, rather, just stay in yours and think of that one time when I didn't reply and how you were quick to notice and ask me why I hadn't. Will you even like me if I start doing what you've been doing to me?
Will you not say I've changed?
That I've become selfish, distant, careless, and what not.
And to make it worse, if you call me out for it and I just brush it off saying that's the way I am and I can't do anything bout that?

I'm done trying to explain. I'm done making excuses for you. I'm done scolding myself for expecting too much when you have the same ones from me. I'm done trying to tell you it hurts.

I guess I'll just let it be now. I don't have the strength to explain myself one more time when you just don't seem to change. I don't want to compromise us because of me.

It's just that I'm split between acting your way and keeping up with mine. On one side I don't want to change myself just cause of that and still want to be that girl who cares too much and I'm prepared to handle the pain it gives. It's just that I don't like what I become when I alter myself like that - it kinda feels like I'm doing something wrong and I feel a bit guilty inside.
But then I'm left wondering whether it will make matters worse and maybe you'd do that more and and maybe I should just have some self respect and stop. 

A/N : Overthinking does cause problems, huh ?
I'm the proud overthinker types - no matter what people tell me, I'm not gonna change this habit much. But then again - it sometimes hurts.
Do any of you identify with this ?
Share your takes and your stories !