A/N : When is what you get to write in your English paper. *smirks*
She wakes up with her alarm blaring the tunes of her favourite song and a muffled eagerness to face the new day : she fights to keep this fire burning and not treat the morning as the precursor of yet another bland day. She has got dreamy eyes that are slowly adjusting to the sometimes blinding brightness of life, and she shrugs off the remnants of sleep and doubt as she gears up for the day.
She is fuelled by a burning desire to prove herself, not just to the world, but also - her own self : she struggles with believing her own worth. She dreams of making her family proud, of being the one who has it all. She envisions a future where she has everything 'they' speak about, yet she cannot imagine herself to be that person yet - it seems like a far-off apparition. She wants to do something big, yet she's unsure of what it would be.
She craves attention, just as she did two months or two years ago. She looks for someone to understand her, to value her and care for her, and to love her right; she is yet to figure out that she must be the one to do so. She seeks popularity and adulation, and thrives on others' validation, but she's slowly coming face to face with their fickle nature. She chases happiness in money and people, it will take some years to weather her down and tell her that it was always about her.
In a world that feeds on drama and is quick to drown the ones who err, she treads carefully on the slippery sand by the deep ocean. She's scared of being in the spotlight, yet she craves the attention and importance it highlights one with. She's so scared of making mistakes and incurring the displeasure of society, she crawls into her shell before she has even begun to walk.
Her definition of reality changes every day : when she's confronted with all the evil, malice, envy, selfishness and cruelty people harbour, and a world that isn't quite what she thought would be. She's a naive and simple soul yearning to fit in, and battling to retain her identity. She isn't aware now that she'll meet people who'll break her faith in humanity and some who'll restore it, sometimes squeezed into one.
She's afraid of being left out, of being let down, of facing rejection and criticism, of disappointing the ones she cares for.
She's scared to miss out on something she isn't supposed to, and of growing up before her years(if there ever was anything like that). She doesn't know what's right and what's wrong anymore, she's clueless on how to judge that. She's treading on the fine line between being herself and changing herself for the better - she doesn't know which way to go.
As she matures, she will realise how most of her deepest fears stem from her own insecurities and from the power she thrust in others' hands to judge her.
She strives to be good in a world where bad is lauded, to lift others up when everyone else loves putting them down. She wants to be the reason someone still believes in
goodness and all that is pure and simple - she won't let the beatings of the world tarnish her beautiful soul. She tries to keep her curiousity and innocence alive, cause she has learnt that they are one of the few lamp posts that won't ever let her get lost.
At the end of the day, she's tired and worn-out, but she's learning to embrace that sweet ache withing herself. She will soon realise how important it is to stay true to herself, and not chase wisps of materialistic happiness nor derive validation from others.
With age and experience comes and inherent understanding and acceptance - the solutions to all the problems she has, and had been facing.
But the answers will take time to come up and meet her - for now, she has to be content in the belief that they will.
YOU ARE READING
--Bridges--
PoetryOne of the favourite lessons reading books has taught me is that you're never alone, not alteast in thoughts and words. There are others who think like you, feel like you and react like you. It's like that sometimes, our unspoken thoughts are the b...
