Let the Light In

Chapter 19: Comity

Chapter 19: Comity

Electricity coursed through Rey's veins, and it had nothing to do with the Lightning she had devoured.

She could still feel him over the bond; His anguish, his disbelief.

His repulsion.

Rey had heard him in his lapse of control, and now here she sat. Her mind was a mess, grappling to find a handle on her thoughts but essentially grasping at air.

What she kept coming back to, however, was the fact the he did not hate her. After what she had seen so blatantly displayed on his face, his feelings on her were everything but.

Rey was struggling to accept it.

Only, no, she could accept that Kylo did not hate her. What she could not assent was that it made her feel...

But now she could not feel him anymore. He had shut her out just as the grief had reached a peak she almost could not withstand. The emptiness left her with a poignant worry for the man. What had affected him so?

Rey took a deep, shaky breath in utter relief as a knock on the door roused her from those thoughts.

"It's open, you can come in!"

Rey didn't know how long she had been out, but it was typical for Chewie to come and check up on her, often in jubilation at her lack of terrors. She was not expecting to be looking up at Master Luke.

He regarded her with a calmer gaze than before, much more akin to how he had looked when she first met him.

"May I sit with you?"

Rey nodded mutely, gesturing to the bunk opposite her.

He sat on the floor with her instead, meeting her at eye level.

"Rey, I want to, uh-" he wet his lips nervously, the furrow in his brow deepening in his search for the right words, "I want to apologise. The role of a Jedi is to help those in need, and I have been less than helpful of late. You have been touched by the Dark and influenced by it, that much is certain. But it is not my place to treat you any less for it. It is my job to help you find solace and healing in the Light."

Rey remained silent, her mind whirring away at his words, but not making any sense. Shock, disbelief, hope. Rey felt all this and more. After the last session, she so badly wanted to mend relations between herself and Luke.

She had tasted the raw power of the Dark now, and while it did appeal to her, Rey knew she would need far more self-control to be able to keep that kind of power in check.

In all honesty, she needed Luke's guidance now more than ever. For now, now Rey knew how to harness the Dark. And she did not want to be another Ben Solo.

Luke perused her, and after finding her expression encouraging, or at least acceptable, he continued, "I fear that you will face the same disaster I did, to be taught by a patchwork of Masters and have to sew together your own identity in the Force from that. It is a difficult thing, Rey, to discern right from wrong when instructed by so many wilful souls-" He was almost pleading with her. Did he wish for her to understand his own plight? Was that a cry for forgiveness Rey heard rippling under Luke's reticent voice?

"-The mere fact you will have to learn to control your mind tricks from any holocron you can find already made me worry for you. And I'm afraid that, seeing you give in to your anger, it was a scene I myself had witnessed far too many times and read about even more-"

Rey, in her own mind, should not have felt guilty, but she did.

"-It was a common thing to see students turn on their masters and fall to the Dark. I know I slipped in frustration many times with my own masters. Even with Master Kenobi-" Luke's voice broke rather suddenly, and he spent a moment clearing his throat before continuing, "I was resistant at first. I felt that the Force was far exaggerated in the tales, and though I didn't tell him, I agreed with Han's 'blaster' approach much more than I did the lightsaber. With Master Yoda, I'm sure I would have flung a rock or two at him if I'd had the patience to try levitate them properly."