Let the Light In

Chapter 61: Serenity

Chapter 61: Serenity

It was a dream. Rey was certain it had been a dream. She had been having so many of them, surely last night was just another, despite its exceptional lucidity. Or perhaps Rey was just that desperate...

Ben hadn't made contact in a month, and their Force bond was cold. Rey had only dreamt it again, just like she dreamt of mornings spent tangled with Ben in the far reaches of nowhere while not needing to get up, laughing with him in a cantina, playing pazaak with him in the Sparrow, and walking with him under different constellations.

All were very fanciful things, Rey scoffed to herself, and she knew that she'd probably just wake up to an empty bunk, an empty head, and a heart full of longing, again.

Only, as Rey's mind cleared of early morning grogginess, the bond was there; active and warm. Ice water that sourced from fear of delusion ran through her veins as she gently felt the bond-the presence- in her mind. No. It was definitely full of life, and open...And Rey was pressed up against someone's chest. Her hand was still clasped in someone else's. She could clearly hear, and feel, someone's steady heartbeat beneath her head.

Rey tentatively explored the Force presence of the figure wrapped around her, unwilling to believe her hopeful heart.

That someone was definitely Ben Solo.

The chill slowly left Rey's body as she realised she hadn't, again, imagined his return. Granted, as she realised the rest of her 'dream' had been real, it was no longer ice that ran through her veins, but fire. This was only, of course, until she remembered he 'had to leave'.

Except he had stayed last night. Ben had stayed.

The thought left a lump in her throat, and the faintest of pricking in her eyes.

Rey had not particularly been prone to sudden bouts of overwhelming emotion, but Ben's choice to stay left her floundering. She curled closer to him, shamelessly relishing the way he tightened his hold on her in his sleep, and listened to his heartbeat, allowing herself to simply exist in the memories of last night, and his presence in her mind.

Rey was met with peace. For once, Ben Solo was at genuinely at peace. Over the bond, Rey could feel his contentment. Dipping in, Rey could see that as much as he needed to leave last night, he couldn't help but stay. Rey was his weakness; the one thing he couldn't resist. His weakness, and his strength, if his thoughts were anything to go by... Oh Force. Her heart jumped erratically in her chest, and she nuzzled against his bare chest with a giddy grin plastered on her face. Ben did not wake, but his hand flexed on her back unconsciously. The way he thought of her, and lying with her like this...It fostered to a single thread in his thoughts that was so utterly invested in the dream she had given him of a life from world to world, that it almost gave her hope that she'd be able to stop him from going.

All this was laid bare to Rey in Ben's mind, over the bond, and she couldn't help but delve in more. She was utterly helpless in the face of his warmth and need. It wouldn't suffice to say Rey was relieved when she saw Ben had been as maddened by the past month of separation as she had been. Deeper into his surface thoughts still, and there was iron resolution, a determination to follow through with leaving the First Order, but also a burning hatred for Snoke. Rey was struck by the strength of the vengeance within him, the need to reclaim all that he had lost, and the driving hunger to provide something in the wake of all his destruction. The resolve that Ben had to find and rid the Galaxy of Snoke made Rey's previous hope falter. He was desperate to rid himself of his own personal demons, as well as the threat that faced the people he cared for. Rey felt as torn as he did, stuck between two very different resolutions.