Let the Light In

Chapter 57: Grace

Chapter 57: Grace

Rey was sitting in the main hold alone. Chewie and Maz were in the cockpit tittering back and forth, while Leia and Luke were in the cargo hold arguing over...Something else. Or perhaps the gossip was over the same topic. She couldn't quite hear them and she wasn't sure she wanted to either. It was pretty unbelievable, but Rey actually wanted them to come out and pepper her with questions. Yell, cry, and throw accusations, anything. Anything to distract her from the absence in her mind that demanded to make itself known in the quiet. Force only knew what he was doing right now, and Rey really shouldn't have been pining after him.

This knowledge did very little to dissuade her from clutching Ben's cloak tightly around her, and wishing that is was his arms instead. She knew she hadn't been gone all that long. But she still hoped he would call her soon. But to what end? What would happen when Ben came back? Would he want to aid his mother till the war was over, or would it be safer to just send him off?

If he did leave, Rey knew she would go with. She had tried to kid herself with 'ifs' and 'maybes', but she knew she would. Even if they didn't travel together, Rey knew she would fare better outside of the militant force, and helping actual individual people. She was sick of the fighting, and sick of the war. There was no stopping it from happening again, and history had proven that the same fights would repeat themselves over and over under different banners. This didn't mean she would be apathetic about it. Rey would just focus on what was more important to her.

What was the problem was how to tell the others that this was her choice, and that they would have to make peace with her eventual absence. Again, she didn't really owe them anything, and if she had before, she certainly didn't by now. Rey would not lose Ben, so the only real option was exile, and she wasn't about to let him slip through her fingers either.

He was, after all, her Ben, right?

"Rey?"

She glanced up to see Leia handing back in the passageway. Luke was nowhere to be seen. Rey gestured for Leia to join her, and the usually steadfast General walked a little unsteadily to the lounger, looking somewhat drained.

"Luke is on his way, I think it's all just a bit of a shock. He's never been good with dealing with these kinds of things..."

Sure enough, Luke shuffled into the hold moments later, and slid into the circular lounger with Leia, facing Rey.

"Now-" Rey begun, but Luke silenced her with a raised hand. This was something of a blessing. Rey didn't know where to begin.

"Is he coming back?" Luke's voice was measured, and falsely calm.

"Yes."

Luke's eyes tightened, betraying his emotion, though Rey couldn't quite determine what...

"When?"

"I don't know," Rey sighed, unable to keep the glumness out of her tone.

Luke frowned, and his voice was almost grim when he spoke again, as if he doubted her, "How so? How can you be sure then that he is coming back?"

Rey snorted, irritated that Luke was so faithless in his own nephew, or else her reliability as at least a source of information.

"Because, Luke, Ben is convinced that he needs to something as a peace offering of sorts to the Resistance. He is adamant that he needs to bring back something worthy to have even a hope of earning your forgiveness, or at the very least tolerance. He feels he can't come back without something to aid his mother," Rey flicked her accusatory glance between the two of them, enjoying their uncomfortable carriage, "I can't tell you when he's coming back, but I can promise you that he doesn't want to follow the path he was on any longer."