Let the Light In

Chapter 55: Faith

Chapter 55: Faith

It had been a couple of days since Rey had left, and Ben projected that she would be a few hours from Manaan by now. Ben was on edge. There had been no communication between Snoke and anyone else. Hux was doing menial things to keep the troops focused and all around there were whisperings of some grand plan being in the works, though both Hux and Ben were utterly oblivious to any such thing.

In spite of all of this, the only thing going through Ben's mind was what in the name of the great stars above was he doing?

The technicality of it was plain and simple. Treachery.

Ben was committing treachery of the highest degree to even consider leaving the First Order, and yet here he was, pacing his chambers with her crystal clutched tightly in his hand and working up the nerve to start planning his desertion.

Desertion.

He was mad...Insane. But Force did he want to do it.

There were no words to describe how painful it had been to follow Snoke's order. 'Painful' in itself was a miserable, pathetic definition. Even with his promise to Rey that he'd do what needed to be done, Ben had been fully prepared to defy Snoke right then, whether he would have been killed for it or not. It had been only Rey's begging, her pleading, washing over him in waves as she could not control them that had impelled him to obey his master.

His master, Ben thought bitterly, his master had manipulated and pushed him for the last time. He had lost so much because of Snoke and his empty promises. Rey had done far more for him than Snoke ever had, or ever would. She had been the one to chase away his nightmares, she had been the one to calm the storm inside him, and help him find the fragments so that he could piece himself together bit by bit with her encouragement and urging.

Rey had been the one to risk everything, just so that they might have something.

Now all that was left of the scared, helpless little boy was a single dream of carrying the woman he loved into clear pools and safety, only to collapse on the beach nearby. Relieved, though, that he had saved her.

That dream was the most recent to join the others, and it was the only one that remained. He didn't care what kinds of tricks the Force was playing, he would do his best to make her happy, and somehow at least in part make up for the terrible deeds he'd done.

Reparations, Ben supposed, would be the only thing he could offer them. An adequate one would be Snoke's location, and Snoke's death. Ben would only be too pleased to oblige. The difficulty, however, was finding the creature. He never stayed in one place long, but something told Ben that Snoke was nearing his endgame, and this could prove an opportune moment. He would help by finding Snoke, and ending him before he could wreak havoc on the Force the way he intended. Ben was very aware that the battle may happen either way, but the main problem for people like himself, Rey, and Luke lay not in the death that would rend echoes in the Force, it was what Snoke would do the Force while it lay crippled. The Force could recover from concentrated onslaught, what was unprecedented was warping and manipulating it to the point of changing its nature Galaxy-wide, and not just in isolated pockets like various artefacts and Malachor V. That could not be allowed.

Even if he did this, and it succeeded against all odds, Ben knew he would be lucky to get a life sentence. He also knew that, once he had worn out his usefulness, and with the Galaxy in the state it was in, the Senators would not allow him to live, citing him as being a risk. A threat.

Rey's suggestion seemed more and more appealing, but...

Ben wondered if he would wander alone, or if she was considering going with him. He would be lying to say he hadn't entertained the thought of proposing a life with her outside of the Resistance. Ben snorted at himself derisively, knowing he was also a fool for dwelling on it, and thinking she would abandon the new family she had found in the Resistance.