Let the Light In

Chapter 38: Pursue

Chapter 38: Pursue

He was a fool.

Ben was walking through the halls of Korriban to his meeting with Hux, and his lips were lilted of their own accord into the hint of a traitorous smile.

He was an absolute fool.

How could he have let her consume him like that? He had just...Stayed with her. It was not like he didn't have other things that required his attention, but no. He had stayed with her and pretty soon her own content slumber had sucked him in with it. It had been so inviting, so peaceful. It's not as if he'd been able to refuse her in the past, when they were younger. He had been putty in her tiny hands.

True to that long-ago form, Ben had been unable to resist her infectious felicity when he awoke to it. He supposed it helped that the sleep he achieved thanks to her had been one devoid of damning nightmares, whether born of the Force or his own misdeeds. Nor had Ben been able to resist teasing her so when he noticed her disgruntled mood as a result of her friend's antics. How could he ignore such an appealing pull when his own heart and mind had been so considerably lightened by their linked slumber?

Ben supposed the notion should have terrified him, that they fed off each other so. Instead, it warmed him.

He was a selfish creature after all. This he could not contest, and there was no evidence to the contrary to his mind.

Selfish. Selfish enough to insert himself into a situation where he should not have intruded, if only to bask in her cheerfulness for a moment, while he too rode out the aftermath of unusual contentment.

Rey had certainly startled him with the readiness she had of welcoming him back into her mind, as if she actually wanted him there. This, he was sure, was simply another selfish delusion on his part. Rey had always been kind to him.

None of this, however, did anything to lessen the involuntary swell of pleasure in his chest at the remembrance of her tone, her happiness.

It sickened him that Snoke could destroy it all, and twist her into something else, something foreign and different. He could not allow it, but Ben would have to be careful with his approach. It was not as if he could simply drag her in. Snoke would not allow unwillingness in his subordinates. If there was even a hint of defiance in Rey, Snoke would force it out of her. If he could not succeed in doing so, Snoke would kill her.

No, Ben would have to make her see reason. He would have to persuade her, somehow. It was the only way. He knew the only acceptable alternative would be for her to fall in battle, far away from Snoke's drawn out methods. Although...Ben knew he would not be able to...

Ben would convince her, of course he would. It would just take some time. Hopefully he had enough.

Whatever happiness had been in his heart vanished then, when he walked into the audience chamber and saw General Hux again. Hux was flanked by two Knights of Ren, and Phasma stood off to the side. The Dathomirian witch with the painted face, and Banor. Ben could feel his blood boiling at the sight of his Second and Third.

Scenes flashed unbidden through Ben's mind of the temple siege.

Banor kicked and struck Rey out in the courtyard while Jayal, the witch, laughed. They had continued to jest and jeer even when Rey struck back, and crawled away. Ben had been too far away to help then, he could only watch her struggle away. The two Knights had let her go, the sight of such a desperate but doomed child amusing to them.

That memory was one that had often plagued his nightmares.

Ben would see their blood spilt yet.