Let the Light In

Chapter 18: Fissure

Chapter 18: Fissure

Rey regained consciousness just in time to brace herself against the wall she was flung into, and turned to meet the eyes of a very angry Kylo Ren, arms crossed and standing on the other side of the room.

"No." He forced the words out, loaded with strain and averseness.

Rey cast a sugar-sweet smile his way, realising he had heard her thoughts loud and clear as she had slipped under.

"Yes."

His shoulders tensed at her placating, but still insistent tone. Though his voice softened, his face still remained steely, "Absolutely not-"

"But you said you would consider it."

"And I still am. With the way you're responding lately, I'm leaning more towards 'not in a thousand Galactic Cycles'." Kylo let his arms fall and wiped a bare hand over his face. He was still wearing more casual robes. "What is wrong, Rey? You feel..." A muscle jumped in his jaw as he clenched his teeth, "You feel like I do most days."

"Don't you dare say that," Rey snarled at him, allowing the venom from the past few hours to seep into her voice, "I am not like you. I am not like Leia. And as much as Luke tries, I will not be 'like' him! I am not like anyone-" His face broke from its stern façade as her voice rose in hysteria, seeming to ponder whether to move towards her or not, "-I am me-" Her voice cracked, and she felt the comforting metal of her saber materialise in her hand. "-and yet all everyone ever seems to do is make me out to be something else."

Rey was breathing hard with the exertion of her outburst, and Kylo was watching her with a careful, but faintly forlorn expression.

"You are your own person, Rey-"

She laughed sardonically, interrupting him, "Oh indeed? Being so 'like' everyone else? Even the Force gives me memories that aren't my own!"

Kylo's face split in hurt then, but he continued speaking with a gentle tone, "The Force is a single thing, Rey, and though it changes, it is the same as it runs through every one of us. But it never defines who we are."

Rey tossed her head as she rolled her eyes, "Try telling that to the demons waiting to claw into my head again."

"I've said it to my own every single night."

"And yet," she threw her hands up in exasperation, unintentionally sending pieces of equipment flying with bursts of the Force, "Here you stand! The great would-be-Sith! Abandoned your family. Killed your father. And for what?"

He flinched at every word she spat at him, and didn't even try to dodge the small pieces of debris that had spiralled his way. A small part of Rey wanted to stop, but she barrelled on.

"A little bit more black in your heart? Power?"

He had had enough, and glared at her with fire in his eyes, "An end to the nightmares."

Rey faltered, pressing her lips together and considering him with a sceptical look on her face.

Kylo sighed and continued, the fire fading and instead being replaced by unguarded fear, "By beating out my weakness, the nightmares should fade."

His tone told her he was just as unconvinced at this point as she was.

It struck her how, when he met her eyes now, Ben Solo flashed through her mind. She quickly snuffed out the thought.