My love was never good enough

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^I made that title a little to deep haha and The picture up there absolutely has nothing to do with this chapter it's just a pair I like(not a ship). but enjoyyyy
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Bokuto pov

I opened my eyes, quickly shutting them after hearing my alarm clock ring in the back of my head as if it would shut off because I simply shut my eyes. This is the day I was dreading I knew what I had to do but I didn't want to do it. I wish I was back to being oblivious Bokuto again.

"Kou! I know your up now get out of bed and shut your clock off!"

I just simply groaned and shut it off making my way to my closet and to the bathroom to take a shower. When I got in the shower I leaned my head on the wall as the hot water hit my back letting my mind go blank. I guess I was there for a while but I didn't realized until my mom yell at me telling me to get to school.

On the way to school I took the longer way  instead of stopping near Agaashi and I's meet up spot even though I see him in my gym class. 

~~~~~~~~~~~Timeskip🤠~~~~~~~~~

My first class went by slow thank god because I needed this day to go by slow. I was nearing the gym when Akaashi walked up to me "Hey Bokuto-san why didn't you meet up at our usual spot" I don't know if he was dumb or not but he looked really curious "Oh sorry Aggashii my mom dropped me off. We still on for a talk after school right?" His face dropped when I said that as if he knew what was coming. But why?he did it. I should feel sad I gave the relationship all I could. "Yes Bokuto-san" I just simply nodded and walked off to the rest of the class being my normal "happy go lucky self" boosting everyone else's day when mine was falling apart.

The rest of the day went by fast as much as I hated it. I couldn't really concentrate on any of my classes but at least now I had practice and I could clear my head before seeing Akaashi. After we changed we stretched and play a 3 on 3 with Akaashi on my side. If i'm being honest I didn't really care because it's volleyball and we all were still a team but as we were playing Akaashi kept messing up sets and started to get really frustrated. When practice ended I dressed back up and started walking to the cafe with Akaashi beside me. 

"Bokuto-san i'm sorry for messing up most of my sets" I looked at him confusingly "Well Agaashi I guess it was kind of my fault so i'm sorry also but you do know that we are still a team so you shouldn't let problems between us affect your playing. But it's fine it happens to the best of us " He smiled a little and nodded as we were nearing the cafe.

When we sat down in the corner near the window we ordered and I wasted no time to start asking questions when our order came. "So Akaashi...do you like Kenma or something? I know you were pretty drunk that day so I can't be mad and base it all on that." When he looked down I knew what the answer to the question was "Yes Bokuto-san I do" I gave a small oh while sipping my drink and looking out the window. "So like why didn't you tell me or break up with me?" I said quietly still looking out the window. Anyone could hear the sadness in my voice "I didn't tell you because I also like you and I didn't want to break up" Ahh so he was confused.

"you should've thought of my feeling too Akaashi. Weren't we bestfriends before we dated. Just because we started dating doesn't mean I stoped being your bestfriend" He started tearing up and quickly looked down. He flinched a little when I said his actual name and not my silly nickname for him "I know i'm sorry bokuto-san" I sighed not wanted to say this last part "Akaashi I- I'm sorry" wow i'm crying haha "Why are you sorry I wronged you?"  I looked at him with hopeful eyes. Why can't this be one of my nightmares. why am I not enough "I-I'm sorry my love wasn't good enough" we both begin to cry even harder.

"An-and i'm sorry but I have to break up with you even though I don't want to" I guess that was my breaking point because I was sobbing. "B-bokuto-san please I still like you can't we work it out" I walked over  to his side of the table and sat down beside him to wipe his tears and give him a hug before I whispered in his ear "And I love you. So much Akaashi. but i'm just holding you back from seeing your true feelings I just want you to be happy." His head was against my chest as he was crying into it.

Anyone who couldn't see that being in a relationship with him was confusing him was blind.

He may not know it now it now but I could see how he was with Kenma he even ignored me for him haha. I truly to hope the other gets to be happy though.

Thinking about this made me cry even more into the corner of his neck hugging him tight not wanting to let go. Lucky we were the last ones here. "Akaashi your still my bestfriend so tell me everything that happens with Kenma mkay?" we both sadly laughed still in each other's arms before he nodded and pulled away from me "Same with you and Kuroo i've seen how protective he is about you" well duh he is my best bro. "funny joke he his straight. But I should get home" he nodded as I got up to pay for the both of us.

On my way home I begin crying again when I opened my phone to change his name in my phone. Before getting home  I texted Kuroo

                                     Horned owl bastard🦉<3
    Come over and skip school tmr with me?:(

He answered quickly probably knowing I went to meet 'Kaashi today

Kubro🐱
Omw! i'll bring you snacks:/

I smiled at the message before taking a long hot shower getting out to see Kuroo on my bed until he ran up to me seeing my red puffy eyes. "I'll be here tonight okay" I nodded my head and started to cry again.

That night he hadn't asked any questions probably waiting for tomorrow to ask. I just sat with my head on his chest sadly eating while his fingers ran through my flat hair until we fell asleep.

I woke up once shaking from a dream about Akaashi but he just hugged me tightly shushing me back to sleep whispering in my ear "I'm right here no need to be scared" And other sweet nothings in my ear until we fell back asleep for the rest of the night.

Why was my love never good enough...
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A/N

Notice how kuroo changed Bo's name 😅
This might just be my fav chapter. I almost cried writing it though. 
What if i just ended right here??✌🏽
But Bokuroo have my heart rn
I hope you enjoyed.

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