Love or Power

22

 I put the letter in the table I turned and looked at draco I bent down and gave him a kiss on the cheek I got my wand in my pocket and I left to the door I didn't turn to see the manner one more  time I couldnt I then took off I knew I had to go far far away from here but where I passes the city and then I made it the beach I hated beaches I went near the rocks I got my wand out and got myself a tent i walked to the beach I walked over the sand I sit down I didnt want to think about anything so I just looked at the waves crash against each other. It became really dark so I head back to my tent.

I sat I thought something I didnt want to do I know the ministry will come looking for all the old death eater so I know that will be my plain I will turn my self in and I will get the dementors kiss and I will die there the next day my owl brought me my letters and a news paper I didnt think I will have any news but I did I had one from pansy I throw it the fire pit I dint want anything to do with anyone I didnt even want to read the paper so I went to walk at the beach.

it was so lonely I was used to it but it felt wrong how was I supposed to do live with out the person I  love how im I suppose to be happy with out him I cant  live I just cant I just thought about him he was the person I love my happiness my joy he showed my how to love he will calm me down when I was upset I got my wand put and I started throwing spells at the waves making them big I wanted to die I don't want to be alive I let them crash on me it took me in I felt the water go in my nose in my mouth the salt burning in my insides I opened my eyes to see a light the light I will always see at Hogwarts I ignore it and let the water go in me.

it went black I opened my eyes I saw light of the sun I go back up fuck I yelled I felt someones hands on me ha-hailey what the bloody hell I scratched my eyes what Theodore I whispered what I pulled my wand and head it at his neck why why didnt you let me die why didnt you leave me there and how ddi you find me I yelled he got u and said im sorry im sorry but but why where you trying to kill your self I put my wand down draco he's dead I whispered I-im sorry he said I gave him my back I started to walk away he grabbed my shoulder where are you going I didnt turn I have to go I have to be with him I cant live like this.

he turned me don't don't kill yourself I pushed him away why do you care its not suppose to matter to you i yelled he looked at me hey im sorry about draco but I know he won't want you to kill your self . how would you know huh. did he tell you and either way you cant stop me. he would alway say he wanted to protect you he  wouldnt let anyone hurt you. Istop talking I about him I screamed at him just please I cried, sorry im sorry theodore yelled and gave me a hug I whispered to him can you kill me please he looked at me and didnt say a word.

the next day I stayed in the tent Theodore was gone and I was alone I ran away I ran for it I ran through the beach I need to leave I should have gone far I left  didnt stop running once I couldnt anymore I turned to the beach I ran straight into the water 

 i let the water again go in my lung in my nose I was used to it I let myself sink in and it felt scary but it took a bit till I count breath I couldnt see I didnt feel pain anymore I let the water take me and I was now gone happy I didnt have to feel pain anymore.